Have something cute on,when I get home.

I think the warden has been drinking.

Once again, the warden was out of town this week and the little dictator,our son, was in rare form. Our little guy does well during the week, but on the weekend he is kinda like a binge drinker. You know how during the week most drunks are functioning alcoholics , then on the weekend they act like mean drunks who think its classy to get in fights. That's our Pride and Joy. I am so over it.

Anyway,back to the title of this blog. I just got off the phone with the warden, who is at his BFF's in DC, waiting to watch Tummy Sticks, that's what I call UFC, and we were talking about him coming home tomorrow and he asked me if I was going to have on something cute for his arrival. I said yeah, a two year old. Jackass!

I know he was kidding, but in my noggin I was thinking, WTF? Yes, I am excited that he is coming home, but for different reasons. Before our son, I used to love it when he came home just because I guess, I missed him. Now, my tune has changed a bit. I miss him, but with ulterior motives . I just want him to come home to do shit for me, like help out with bath time, bedtime, etc.. I am starting to feel sorry for him, how shitty is it of me to only want him to come home to do stuff for me? Why do kids make have to make life so different?

I know we make our own choices, but I am starting to feel like once you have kids your own personal choices are no longer personal. It's like,where do we go? And do we ever get to come back? You can't have something cute on when your husband gets home at lunchtime, where will you put your kid? In front of TV? Aren't we supposed to be watching their television intake? Or do we hire a babysitter for 15 minutes? (Girls, let's be honest we know that's all the time they need.) I wish I could figure out a way to blend my former life with my current life and enjoy it more. I am not unhappy with who I have become, but I wish that I could have studied for this part of my life. That way, I could have prepared for it. ( I know that sounds like a control freak.)I feel so over-whelmed sometimes that I actually feel bad for my husband and son, because I selfishly just miss my former self, the woman who never really gave a shit about anything else and probably would have something cute on for her warden.