Can you be "burn-out", if you don't smoke?

I didn't go to high school here, in the "peach" state, so I am not sure what the kids were called, who smoked cigarettes just off the school's premises, but where I come from we called them "burn-outs". I knew many burn-outs and thought that they were nice folks, but I also knew that if I needed to talk to them I was sure to find them behind our school smoking by the green electrical box.

I thought about these guys the other day when my husband and I were taking our little guy to have his picture taken with some live "Easter" animals. We were talking on the way there and I felt compelled to warn him about where we were headed. He asked,"We're just getting his picture taken,right?". I said, "Yes, but I need to tell you about the clientele.". Look, I love going places with our son, but when there is a photo op involved, I almost get embarrassed because of the way some of my fellow mothers act.

I told him, to treat this photo op like a drinking game. I told him to keep count of all the times he hears crazy ass moms shout their kid's crazy ass names, (Shepherd, Harley, Blade,etc.), or women calling their little girls by their first and middle names, (Anna Grace, Jenna Leigh,etc.), and to also keep track of how many of these ladies are dressed in work out clothes, even though they have clearly not worked out since most of them have full make up on. He thought I was crazy, but when it was over and we got in the car....

He looked at me and said, "Oh my gosh, you nailed it!". Of course, I did. I hate that I am "stereo-typing" fellow moms, but they do it to themselves. I love being a mom and I love other moms, but sometimes I feel like if Motherhood was high school, I would be a "burn-out". Because I can't stand the way other mothers act. They just act like morons. In high school, I was, I guess, popular, trendy, a cheerleader, involved in student activities, but I also hung out with questionable people because I thought that they were nice.

So my point is, I don't smoke, but after spending some time in line to see these "Easter" animals, I needed a drink and a cigarette. Which leads me to believe that maybe, just maybe, those "burn-outs" were on to something. I apologize to all the "burn-outs", in high school, hopefully, they didn't see me the way I saw some of these moms now, OBNOXIOUS!

I think my kid was trying to tell me something...

Tonight, when I was getting the little man ready for bed, he looked at the ol' glider and said "Mommy's chair is falling apart".(I guess, he remembers my husband and I discussing the chair.) I said "yeah, it will be OK.". Then he took both of his hands and put them in my hair and said, "Mommy's hair is falling apart, too". At first, I laughed, then I took a look in the mirror and thought, he's right my hair looks like shit, it is falling apart. So thanks, little guy for letting mommy know that she is in need of a magic session with Adam. Let's just hope that when he is older, he learns to keep his opinions about his girlfriend's jacked up hair to himself!

A Great New Show!

My husband and I have seen Chris Isaak in concert, either two or three times and can't tell you how much fun his shows are. So when I saw that he has a show called The Chris Isaak Hour, I was a bit intrigued. Like a good mommy, I DVR'd it last night and saved it for our "hot" Friday night. I am glad I did, too. Michael Buble was his guest and it was really good. The interview was fun and the performances were great. Everyone should totally watch this show. Guests that are coming up include: Stevie Nicks, Smashing Pumpkins(Oh HELLO 1994 Lollapalooza), Chicago (one of my dad's faves). Even if you just DVR the Michael Buble one, it's kinda romantic, when that hot little fool sings "Home". That song melts my heart everytime, even though my hubby swears Buble has "man boobs". Anyway, there's my recommendation for your "hot" spring nights!

Oh my Goodness!

MovieWeb - Movie Photos, Videos & More

I love movies, I especially love funny, kind of silly movies. I dragged my sissy,kicking and screaming, to this one, and since she is a "virgin" to Tyler Perry movies, I think she might have chuckled a couple of times and actually surprised herself. This movie will not win awards, but it did do the trick and made me laugh. I feel like lately everyone has been so serious and edgy, maybe its the end of winter blues, the economy, or maybe folks just feel like being pissed off, but me, I have got to get myself out of my "funk" and laugh. So, if you want to laugh, go see this movie or rent "Diary of a Mad Black Woman". Madea has a way of just saying it like it is and it kills me every single time......

Review- c+
Good Laughs- Priceless!

Ever wonder where "hand foot and mouth" disease comes from?

I have been known or accused of being anal about germs and often wondered how in the hell some kids can get this awful disease called "hand foot and mouth" and today I saw with my own peepers how this disgusting disease gets around.

I'll give you a minute to get your barf bags ready.

You ready?

I was at the local mall today where they have an area for kids to jump around like hyenas and moms can sit and stare at other mom's methods of discipline. As well as, how long it takes them to realize that their child left the area 10 minutes ago while they were yucking it up on the phone with their neighbor who just had her first round of botox. Anyway, as I looked past all of the stereo typical suburban moms, there she was, a poor nanny watching over an infant in a carrier and a toddler, named Shepherd, I shit you not that was his name, just like Dr. McDreamy on Grey's Anatomy. Anyway, the nanny carefully placed the carrier and down and chased after Shepherd because his pants were falling down. About ten minutes into playing, I noticed a white little toosh shining at me and yep, it was Shepherd's. Apparently, his parents don't care if his clothes fit properly and don't believe in underwear, they just want to make sure that his clothes look expensive. The poor nanny couldn't keep getting up to keep him covered so she let him run around mooning everyone. Then it occurred to me that he wasn't just running around mooning us, he was sliding his bare bottom all over the play area and unless he's an animal that can lick his own ass to clean it, chances are his feces were contaminating the WHOLE area. I never left a place so fast, you would have thought that the wartime alarms were going off and was seeking shelter, I broke the human speed record.

I know that it is not Shepherd's fault that his pants didn't fit him and that his parents don't make him wear underpants, but wake up people, Shepherd doesn't need to be going commando when he's playing with other kids, the chaffing alone probably doesn't feel good, so on behalf of all the mom's out there who give a toot about our kid's health and disease-free lifestyles, keep your kid's dirty ass off of the play areas, it is soooooo NASTY!!!

My Personal Politcal Analogy

I was watching Fox News this afternoon, during one of my son's timeouts, and heard one of the Fox commentators and an opposing commentator give and compare political analogies, neither made sense to me, but at dinner I was talking to my hubby about it and I came up with :

If our government was American Idol, Simon would be the GOP and Paula would be the democrats.

And kind of with a chuckle he said, "Sure".

If the political "news" media would speak to us in entertainment terms, I think we would all be better off.

Spencer and Heidi= GOP
Brad and Angie= Democrats

Feel free to share your analogies...

Pardon me doc, but you're an A-HOLE!

I hate to be a complainer, but here I go.

My little guy went to bed last night with a low grade fever, 99.7 and a dose of Motrin. He slept fine, but woke up with the same fever and a pitiful little look on his face. So, I got us an appointment at 9:10 this morning. Of course, as we entered the "human incubator of funk", also know as the pediatrician's office, the little rascal was back to his old tricks. Except with a fever. The nurse took us back, weighed him, took his temp, 99.8, and asked me why we were there. Technically, I had no idea, except the fever and his pitifullness. The nurse asked me if we had been anywhere that could have possibly gotten his exposed to something. I told her we had been to a jumping place for a birthday and he went to a playland with Nana and Papa. She nodded like, duh? Anyway, we waited for our doc, who I have always liked until today. He checked him out, ears, nose, throat, back, tummy, and he found NOTHING! What does this mean, to me a common person, somewhat educated, privately insured, punctual, respectful? He's got a virus. Really doctor, what kind? "I don't know mom, there are 3000 kinds of viruses out there, so I don't know." I am not kidding you that is word for word what that A-HOLE said, "I don't know". Well doc, you know what I didn't know either, so I came to you, M.D.. I guess I should have gone to McDonald's to have my kid looked at, I would have gotten the same answer. These "professionals" kill me!