My EVIL Plan!

So, lately I've had the urge to lie and enroll my three year old in kindergarten. Not because he is ready for it or even 5 years old, but because around here, school starts in some counties Monday, August 3rd, or in our county the 10th. And I do not live in denial, and must admit that little man needs something else to do besides hang out with me. Preschool doesn't start until the end of the month. BOO!

I can't believe that I am saying this, but I am tired of going to the pool. I am tired of thinking of new fun things to stimulate my munchkin. If I have to pack one more cooler of snacks and treats I think I am going to lock myself in the damn cooler! I've read the the best days of school are the first and the last and even though I was so reluctant to put my little munchkin in preschool,last year, I can't wait to send him back!

I know, I know, I sound like a selfish brat, but I don't care.

Here is my EVIL plan, for tomorrow:

I am invited to a baby shower at 11 am. I plan on going to shower, having a little fun and on the way home I am planning on "getting lost". Thank goodness for my little GPS, I can get lost whenever I want. I feel a little guilty, but that should pass. Enjoy your Sunday everyone, I sure will.

Have you ever had one of those funny days?

Today began with an evite from a name I didn't recognize. I know a Anne* from the munchkin's preschool, but I didn't know her last name. I felt stupid calling her, but I had to because she was the only Anne* I knew. Thank Goodness it was her because the evite was for a "pole-dancing" class! I've always thought about going to one for kicks, but never thought I would get invited to one!

Then I was at out local Publix and like most mommies we get to know the staff at a few places, the grocery store, Target, and our salons and spas. Anyway, our favorite little cashier handed me an invitation to her Bridal Shower. I was surprised and congratulated her on the upcoming nuptials. I threw the invite in my purse and opened it when I got home. I almost fell off my chair when I read that it was a "Sex Toy" Shower. Apparently she is a virgin, who plans to "give it up in style" on their wedding night. I shit you not! It said this on a little insert, that I thought were directions to the place.

So needless to say my day was full of funnies! I didn't even check my mailbox today because I was afraid of what I might find in there!

Dinner + The Hangover = Our version of a date night!

MovieWeb - Movie Photos, Videos & More

The warden and I haven't had a "date night" in four weeks, so with a little help from Nana, we had a wonderful night out! Dinner was fine, but let me tell you: The Hangover was flippin' funny! I don't even know what my favorite part was because the whole damn thing was funny. Mike Tyson. The cop car. The naked Chinese man. The baby. The sunburn. Everything! This is a MUST see! Oh and Bradley Cooper is on my list! That fool is HOT!

Grade-A

Boys will be boys....

We ran into the munchkin's former preschool teacher tonight, at dinner, and he announced to her and the rest of Chick-fil-a that he went pee-pee in the potty. She was so sweet and clapped for him while the other customers kinda giggled. Then he announced that he "pooted". It was not at all appropriate, but it was so funny. I know I complain alot about how this little turkey makes me want to jump, but when he catches me off guard like that, I just want to scoop him up and eat him. My grandma tells me that boys are little rascals sometimes, but they really do love their mamas. I love my little munchkin, inappropriate table talk and all.....

I LOVE Jessica and Hunter!

Who the hell are they? Only the funniest duo on Youtube! Check them out (after you push pause on my playlist):
They are CRAZY! Check out the rest of their stuff!

Potty Training 099!

That is not a typo, either. My husband and I are both not eligible to take on Potty Training 101, because let's just say we are equals on this subject. REMEDIAL! I may be able to kick his ass in reading comprehension and basic math skills, however WE ARE SCREWED with Potty Training!

I can't believe that our parents spent thousands of dollars on our two brains and we can't get a toddler to pee or poop in the toilet. Shit, I refuse to obsess about it anymore, because my self-esteem can't take it. But, I will say that I am coming to grips with the fact that my kid's got it in him, we just have to find a way to get it to stick! Our current trick is letting him blow out a birthday candle everytime he goes in the potty. I tried stickers, m&m's, rubber stamps, pennies, making myself cry (that's a lie, I got grossed out with a clean up and actually started crying),and other little bribes. The candle was my last straw and so far so good!

I haven't felt this dumb since we first brought him home. So as we enter week two, I hope my attitude will change and I won't have anymore breakdowns. If you are considering potty training, "May the force be with you". They really are like dogs, I almost emailed the Dog Whisperer for help.

Bring on the Motrin!

Tonight I attended and participated in a 17 and up HIP HOP class taught by a choreographer from L.A.! It was VERY fun, but I think my body was not ready for the hour and a half class. I knew I was in trouble during the warm-up when I saw all of the teenagers stretch like they were in the circus. The routine wasn't so bad, however, when they broke us into groups and I had perform with the teenagers, I felt like a friggin' golden girl. There were only 4 "old" hags, including myself and believe you me, we didn't move the way the youngsters did. I had and blast and was really glad that I took the class, but tomorrow my body will be pissed off at me. Especially when the rigor mortis sets in!