Thursday, July 9, 2009

Have you ever had one of those funny days?

Today began with an evite from a name I didn't recognize. I know a Anne* from the munchkin's preschool, but I didn't know her last name. I felt stupid calling her, but I had to because she was the only Anne* I knew. Thank Goodness it was her because the evite was for a "pole-dancing" class! I've always thought about going to one for kicks, but never thought I would get invited to one!

Then I was at out local Publix and like most mommies we get to know the staff at a few places, the grocery store, Target, and our salons and spas. Anyway, our favorite little cashier handed me an invitation to her Bridal Shower. I was surprised and congratulated her on the upcoming nuptials. I threw the invite in my purse and opened it when I got home. I almost fell off my chair when I read that it was a "Sex Toy" Shower. Apparently she is a virgin, who plans to "give it up in style" on their wedding night. I shit you not! It said this on a little insert, that I thought were directions to the place.

So needless to say my day was full of funnies! I didn't even check my mailbox today because I was afraid of what I might find in there!

Friday, July 3, 2009

Dinner + The Hangover = Our version of a date night!

MovieWeb - Movie Photos, Videos & More

The warden and I haven't had a "date night" in four weeks, so with a little help from Nana, we had a wonderful night out! Dinner was fine, but let me tell you: The Hangover was flippin' funny! I don't even know what my favorite part was because the whole damn thing was funny. Mike Tyson. The cop car. The naked Chinese man. The baby. The sunburn. Everything! This is a MUST see! Oh and Bradley Cooper is on my list! That fool is HOT!

Grade-A

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Boys will be boys....

We ran into the munchkin's former preschool teacher tonight, at dinner, and he announced to her and the rest of Chick-fil-a that he went pee-pee in the potty. She was so sweet and clapped for him while the other customers kinda giggled. Then he announced that he "pooted". It was not at all appropriate, but it was so funny. I know I complain alot about how this little turkey makes me want to jump, but when he catches me off guard like that, I just want to scoop him up and eat him. My grandma tells me that boys are little rascals sometimes, but they really do love their mamas. I love my little munchkin, inappropriate table talk and all.....

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

I LOVE Jessica and Hunter!

Who the hell are they? Only the funniest duo on Youtube! Check them out (after you push pause on my playlist):
They are CRAZY! Check out the rest of their stuff!

Friday, June 19, 2009

Potty Training 099!

That is not a typo, either. My husband and I are both not eligible to take on Potty Training 101, because let's just say we are equals on this subject. REMEDIAL! I may be able to kick his ass in reading comprehension and basic math skills, however WE ARE SCREWED with Potty Training!

I can't believe that our parents spent thousands of dollars on our two brains and we can't get a toddler to pee or poop in the toilet. Shit, I refuse to obsess about it anymore, because my self-esteem can't take it. But, I will say that I am coming to grips with the fact that my kid's got it in him, we just have to find a way to get it to stick! Our current trick is letting him blow out a birthday candle everytime he goes in the potty. I tried stickers, m&m's, rubber stamps, pennies, making myself cry (that's a lie, I got grossed out with a clean up and actually started crying),and other little bribes. The candle was my last straw and so far so good!

I haven't felt this dumb since we first brought him home. So as we enter week two, I hope my attitude will change and I won't have anymore breakdowns. If you are considering potty training, "May the force be with you". They really are like dogs, I almost emailed the Dog Whisperer for help.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Bring on the Motrin!

Tonight I attended and participated in a 17 and up HIP HOP class taught by a choreographer from L.A.! It was VERY fun, but I think my body was not ready for the hour and a half class. I knew I was in trouble during the warm-up when I saw all of the teenagers stretch like they were in the circus. The routine wasn't so bad, however, when they broke us into groups and I had perform with the teenagers, I felt like a friggin' golden girl. There were only 4 "old" hags, including myself and believe you me, we didn't move the way the youngsters did. I had and blast and was really glad that I took the class, but tomorrow my body will be pissed off at me. Especially when the rigor mortis sets in!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

The sun is not the only "son" melting my brain!

I love the summer don't get me wrong, but it's only June 10th and I have already flushed all of the stuff I learned throughout the school year, down the toilet! I keep reading all of these articles about how to get your children to retain all of their hard work learned throughout the school year and now I am searching for a solution on how to salvage my mommy brain. I signed up our little guy for summer preschool and forgot when it started. It started last week. I also signed up for tennis camp, yep, you guess it, FORGOT! This is stuff I have been looking forward to for all spring, and poof!, I FORGOT! No words can explain how badly I wanted to schlep the boy off to granny's last week, when all along, I had already made arrangements. Oh well!

I guess my fun in the sun has melted my memory and my actual son has innocently torched the rest of my brain! I am back on track tomorrow, no more FORGETTING! Note to self: Don't blame "little guy" when he starts school and loses IQ points during the summer, blame genetics! I probably got it from my mom, the NUT!