So, I went for my first session with a therapist and felt great afterwards. I had emailed her a link to this blog, just to gain a little insight into what I was actually stressing about. I also had a chance to share with her that I also had some acupuncture done, to maybe try to alleviate some of anxiety. I am not sure if it was supposed to work instantly, but i slept better that night. I'll give it a go again next month. I also have another session scheduled on Wednesday with the therapist.
Here's the deal, I went to my appointment on Tuesday and she just dove right in and we started discussing all of the recent events that I thought were responsible for my feelings. And I forgot to mention that since Sunday, when I posted my first entry, my family had another death. He was a great cousin, he was almost 55, and although I am not sure of his actual cause of death, he was having serious complications from a UTI, also he had down syndrome and his mind was showing signs of dementia. I was very sad for my Aunt, she was the wife of my uncle who committed suicide, and the mother of this sweet cousin. And my mom came to Texas for the funeral and a quick pop over to see me and the kids. She didn't stay with me, so my diarrhea and period didn't make an appearance. Also, my grandma had a very rough week, she ended up needing a blood transfusion, developed maybe a UTI, the doctor made her finish her radiation (which was a short-lived celebration) and today was told she has contracted C Diff. But, she felt well enough for French Fries, today. So, I am confused.
Now that we are up to speed with the goings-on, we can talk about what was discussed at my appointment. We dove right in, in order, my extended family.... She asked me how close I am to "these people", (she let me call them that, too), and I told her that I had moved away at 11, so not very close, but they have very strong personalities, she asked me if my kids knew off the top of their heads who some of them were, I said no, there's too many, she then said, it sounds like a boundary problem. Apparently, it's the way they operate and I don't play that way and have to learn to not turn into them and their reactive ways. She assured me that she was going to teach me how to effectively set the said boundaries and ultimately not react to their ways of doing things. Super, right?
Then we talked about my mother, and after talking about her family, she knew what I was dealing with. She said that she believed that how my mom acts is not genetic, it is a "learned behavior" and that I can rest easy that I will not turn into her, obviously, because it irritated me enough to seek help. I'm not sure if she exactly said that, but that's how I took it. Bear with me.
She asked me about my dad and how he is, which he's a solid guy, nice, steady, but she asked me how he deals with my mother, and I had to tell her that he really let's her get away with too much and it makes me crazy. She asked me if I have tried to say something and I said yes, but there were no changes. Again, she said it wasn't his job to set boundaries, it was mine to set my own, since her quirks bother me.
We discussed my feelings about me hating Texas and missing Virginia, and she thinks with all the family adjustments, my mom visiting so much, and the new area, I didn't have anxiety, I have adjustment disorder. I think she is right! It's definition says, it's when an individual is unable to adjust to or cope with a particular stress or major life event. Well, I went from foot loose and fancy free, no one extra to worry about in Virginia to this beastly family in Texas and it is kicking my ass! She is going to teach me how to cope and set those boundaries and I can not wait!
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