SNOTTY MOMS

I am way to young for this...

2011-08-24T21:21:00.002-04:00

Not really.

What I am referring to is I am officially a mother of a school aged child. That's right, not a preschooler, a school aged child.

It is so weird. I remember my kindergarten teacher and now my little man has one too. And she is adorable and younger than me. It's really crazy. We are nine days in and so far so good. I feel okay about our school, still a little anxious, but okay enough to keep sending him.

I have been enjoying my time with just the little one at home, so that keeps me a little less crazy than I could be.

I worry of course about silly things that I can not control, like who he befriends, how others will treat him, I especially worry about what they are not teaching him. I knew that this milestone would come and also that it would come quickly, but DAMN!, it really did fly by.

Another small step for us as a family and many more to come, but I still can't believe it!

Like Mother Like Son...

2011-05-27T21:39:00.003-04:00

Well Summer 2011 has started in our home, this week, and let's just say it has started with two trips to the doctor. One for baby and one for me. Let's just say that when one thing happens around here another is usually quick to follow. We are fine just matching ear infections, who says mom and son can't ever have matching anything?

We are fine, just a crazy crazy rant. I also wanted to make sure the ol' blog was still in place.

Happy Summer Everyone.....

OK, he's ready, but am I?

2011-02-03T21:31:00.002-05:00

This week I had our little guy's 4 year old preschool conference and it went well. He seems to be doing well and thriving academically and socially. Which is FANTASTIC and I should be beaming with joy, right? Well, it was great until Ms. Teacher said "He's definitely ready for Kindergarten". That's when the DJ stopped and I started to zone out. My little monkey? Kindergarten? How? Who says he's ready? Can't I just swaddle him up and keep him home FOREVER? I realize school doesn't start until August, but its a lot closer than we think. I guess I'll just have to get used to the idea and give thanks for how far we have come. I am so proud of him and proud of the warden and I, we seem to be doing a good job with this whole parenting thing, if the teacher says our little student is ready for the "BIG SHOW".

Stay tuned for more milestones....

The Fighter, in one word, AWESOME!

2010-12-18T22:26:00.003-05:00

Yes, I am the biggest sucker for Mark Wahlberg films. But, this one was a little different. I walked into his newest one, The Fighter, without any idea of what to expect. I was just hoping that it wasn't like a corny Rocky. And I was so impressed with all of the acting, Christain Bale, Amazing!!!, Amy Adams, Great!!!, Melissa Leo, Fantastic!!! and Mark Wahlberg, his character just broke my heart, and he was so good.

This movie was more about how effed up families are and how much power they play in our lives no matter what we do to defy their intentions. The music was amazing too and so much part of the movie, my favorite was definitely the use of the Red Hot Chili Pepper's "Strip My Mind" and hell Whitesnake's "Here I Go Again" gave me chills..Crazy.Crazy.Crazy.

Take your husband, boyfriend or lover because this is so good.

In the words of Ralphie's teacher this is an A plus plus plus plus!

5 out of 5
Two Thumbs Up

Go see it and definitely enjoy it!

~Oh yeah, and if ever given the opportunity, I will leave my husband for Mark Wahlberg, he is that FINE!(Just Kidding Honey...(No, I am not))

Fall is finally here....

2010-11-03T15:26:00.002-04:00

It's about time, I had to blow the dust off my jeans and treated myself to two new pairs, too. They have just been sitting in my closet waiting to be worn. I have been excited because the last time I wore jeans, they had a BIG elastic panel on them. Those jeans are long gone hopefully holding up someone else's baby belly up.

I am currently getting ready for a garage sale with high hopes of unloading a lot of baby things. I feel good about getting rid of this stuff, but I am wondering if I will get "weird" the day of the sale when someone walks away with my babies' things? We'll have to see....

I only have a minute to blog, but that's what's worth reporting.

Dedicated to Erin....

2010-10-23T16:14:00.006-04:00

So where have I been? Let's see. Last time I blogged, was sometime in the summer. Needless to say, it is now fall and it has been fabulous. My little rollie pollie is now 7 months old and we have been doing really well. Thank you to fellow blogger and friend Paula and her wonderful monthly posts about her sweetie pie, Maggie, and my mommy bible Babywise, #2 is definitely different than our firstborn. I kinda have a grip on things and let's just say I am more realistic this time around. I am still a schedule "Nazi", but whatever works for us(me), WORKS!

Preschool has been fun this year, five days a week is just what our four year old needs and it gives me a chance to have one baby at home, so my heart doesn't feel like it has to choose. And I feel good about that.

On a personal note, I feel normal again, the warden and I have gone on some dates, we even made it to a gallery opening, which really felt like we were adults again. I had a pear martini, for the first time in a long time, and I will admit, I felt like I was doing something naughty. (I am still nursing, so it really was a treat.)It was funny. I am dipping my big toe into Hip Hop again and it feels like it's all coming back to me. Baby steps, right?

All in all, 7 months has flown and I have been MIA on the blog front because Facebook is so much faster...

I still don't like to post pics on the ol' blog, but we are all okay, the baby is cute and fat, just like we make 'em and BIG brother is so fun and sweet, a little fresh, but all in all a good boy.

We are truly blessed with our crew of two.

Hello Summer! (Almost)

2010-05-19T20:52:00.002-04:00

Preschool has finished up around here, so our summer has begun. What the heck am I going to do? This summer will be kind of different, with a new baby and all, but I am hopeful that we will skate right through it. I have the munchkin signed up for two weeks of camp and one week of VBS so that will keep me somewhat sane and of course we will have our pool time, it'll just be a little more limited this year. I have a fabulous niece, who says she can be my mother's helper, this year, so I think I'd be a fool not to take her up on her services before she changes her mind. Love Her so much for thinking of her poor aunt.

Cheers to a great summer!

Where have we been all month?

2010-04-26T14:40:00.003-04:00

Well, let's see.....

* We had a beautiful baby boy (8 lbs. 8 oz.)
* We celebrated Easter
* The warden had a vasectomy
* We celebrated our little man's 4th birthday
* We started T-ball and Tennis season (our little guy did, not us)
* We even squeezed in 3 birthday parties (for classmates)

God is good! We did all of this and recovered from the c-section and vasectomy without any major hang-ups!

Life with two is more of a mental thing, than anything. I feel like with two, I need to be 100% with both and I am adjusting my mommy guilt button to let myself give equal amounts of lovin', not 50-50, more like 100-100, you know what I mean. My husband (the warden) feels the same way. It's better than I expected, but notice that this time I am so willing to let go of my control issues and ask for HELP!

I also notice that I pray a little more each day for strength, patience, and energy. When we had our first son, I remember praying for miracles, this time I am praying for little things. We are so blessed and I really think that our timing was perfect for #2. We all enjoy watching him grow. We had his 1 month check and little man's 4 year old check today and they are both thriving, which makes me happy. I could have done without the shots (4 year olds get 5 shots, 1 month olds get 1 shot).

Times up! Until next time....

38 weeks! Holy Smokes!

2010-03-13T20:25:00.002-05:00

Well, I am still hanging in here. Although, I technically have two weeks left, this is my official last week of being pregnant! We are all set for March 22nd! I am just hoping for a little cooperation from my little tummy tenant. I have been praying that he stays put and doesn't try to pull a fast one on me. I have a lot of things lined up this week that I'd really like to get done and I actually would like for his bookshelf to come in before he gets here. But, if the big guy upstairs has other plans for us, that will be okay, too.

Anyway, not much else to report. I don't want to be a Debbie Downer and complain about some typical pregnancy woes. But, my last doc appointment is Wednesday, so maybe I'll blog later this week, kinda like a last shout as a mommy of one. We are so excited about this new baby and I think it's due to our "oldest" baby being so excited about it with us!

The end is in sight....

2010-02-08T22:14:00.002-05:00

I am almost 34 weeks and the c-section has been scheduled. Am I nervous? A little. Am I excited? Absolutely. Am I ready? Hell YES!

I am a little nervous about dumb things. Like, throwing up in the Operating Room,like I did the first time, sneezing, like I do (think, VERY LARGE GORILLA), during the procedure, and most of all not seeing my little 3 year old for a few days. I know the warden and my parents and in-laws will take great care of him, but still, he won't be within my radar to just check on. But, I will be OK, with Skype, we might have a little fun. Hopefully, Northside has WI-FI. Note to self: check on WI-FI.

As for being excited, I can't wait to see who this new little monkey will look like. Me, the warden, or BIG brother? I know he's a little boy, I've known that for a while, but no matter how many ultrasounds you get, you don't really know who these little people resemble until they show their little faces. I am so excited!

Now, the readiness of it all, it may sound crazy, but I am as ready as I will ever be. I remember with my first one, I wasn't sure what to expect so I didn't have any expectations. And when he came home, the warden and I were like "Holy Cow", this is hard work and we did this to ourselves? But, with this one, I am a little more confident that I am: 1) Not going to screw it up. 2) Will not die from sleep deprivation. 3) Not going to let this new little man be the boss of me! SO, let the games begin, I know it will not be easy and it will be hard, but We as a family are going to be OK, we'll just have to shift our schedules and be patient with one another.

I am always telling my boys, the warden and the munchkin, to be POSITIVE and now I will have to have them tell me that. Baby #2, William Paul, we might lose our minds the first few weeks, getting adjusted to you, but we are really a good family and we are READY for you!

So Funny! Had to Share!

2010-01-11T19:38:00.001-05:00

Turn Off My Super Fly playlist....

Hello Winter!

2010-01-07T20:41:00.003-05:00

Geeze these holidays don't fully come to a close until the kiddies are back in their preschools. It seems like this first week back has been more for me than for him. He only goes on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays and this week I am so busy with appointments. I can't even tell you that I've been putzing around doing cool stuff like, shopping or catching up friends, no I've been catching up with the dentist, the OB, my waxer, I guess my entourage. The people who keep me healthy and fuzz free.

And while I've been jumping around from appointment to appointment, it decides to turn into the Arctic here in Georgia, ah-hem, if I wanted to live in an igloo, I'd gladly move back to Chicago. Where they at least have good food and friendly people.

Anyway here is a list of things that I am looking forward to in 2010 besides my baby boy:

-The movie Shutter Island
-The summer
and......
-More Jersey Shore (fist pump!)

Happy New Year.....

sidenote: If you are looking for a good movie, Up in the Air with George Clooney is really really good! Total A- (minus because my hubby thinks I am crazy for loving so much.)

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-23T19:33:00.002-05:00

Merry Christmas Everyone!

I was thinking about how fun next year will be with a new little munchkin around. He will be 9 months old and at his cute chubby stage! I can't wait! Actually, I can wait a few more months, his room is still under decorating construction.

Anyway,

Merry Christmas and Here's to 2010!

My Pregnancies: The Comparison

2009-12-03T14:57:00.002-05:00

The other day, in the car, while my little punter was seeing how far he could kick my insides around, it occurred to me that this little munchkin and his big brother are VERY similar. In fact, my pregnancies are pretty much carbon copies of each other. Here are a few little similarities:

During my last pregnancy, I.....

~ loved Rap Music
~ fancied salads over desserts
~ mouthed off a little more than normal (Believe it or NOT?)
~ got misty eyed listening to "All I want for Christmas is You"
~ drank a cup of Soy Chocolate Milk a day

This time....

~I don't get misty eyed during any Christmas songs.

(everything else is the SAME!!!!)

My husband gets a little tired of the bootie jamz, but still thinks that pregnancy is magical. So, that's that. Although, I thought I wasn't going to make it through the first trimester without dying, I am happy to report that things are back to normal and the whole "momnesia" theory is true. You really do forget all of the horrible BS that comes with the territory.

Happy Pregnancies, to all you expectant mommies out there!

Hmmm... does anyone remember Thanksgiving?

2009-11-18T08:54:00.002-05:00

Yeah, that holiday when we are supposed to give thanks for everything that we have been given? It's in November? Big pro-football day? There's a HUGE parade in New York every single year, since we can remember?

Yes, that holiday!

I can't beleive how quickly time is flying by. Halloween was a few weeks ago and just this past weekend, although it was 74 degrees, there we were waiting to see the big guy himself, Santa. And we weren't the only ones. But, yesterday, while I was picking up a few holiday giftcards, I stopped and remembered that Thanksgiving is next week. I had it buried in the back of my mind and when it surfaced, I exhaled. Why am I in such a rush?

I know why, because once these little kiddies get out for "holiday" break, heaven forbid we call it "Christmas", we, mommies, don't have a chance in hell of getting anything done without toting little sweeites with us. So Santa must complete his list ASAP!

As for Thanksgiving, I do really adore this holiday. My grandma lives here now and after a long hiatus of Grandma-less Thanksgivings, my brother, sister and I have practically reverted to toddlers when it comes to holidays around her. We all put in our requests of what we want her to make us, not my mom. Mom isn't real happy with our "revert", but she's going to have to get over it. My grandma is so wonderful!

So this Thanksgiving I am thankful for:

The Warden (my cutie hubby).
The Munchkin (my little monster)
The Little Munchkin ( my little little monster)
My Familia
and most of all my Grandma, she is a ROCKSTAR!

And our next little munchkin is......

2009-11-10T21:01:00.002-05:00

A BOY! Yep, it's another boy! And we are really excited. Kinda stuck in the name department, but we've got time to decide. Everything looks good, healthy, and VERY active. The due date stayed the same, so my C-Section will hopefully be scheduled around the same time mentioned in the beginning. March 20ish. Stay tuned...

Houston, we may have an a**hole!

2009-11-04T08:49:00.003-05:00

Yesterday's weather was so beautiful. I can not stand being outside, but there is something about fall that makes me want to stay out as long as I can. So after the munchkin's tennis lesson, we headed to the park. As soon as we got there little man was all over the place, sliding, climbing, and apparently scoping the place for girls. It didn't take him long to zone in on Bailey, an older woman, she is four and very naive to his charm. They were taking turns spinning each other on this "spinning thing", he would stand up on it, Bailey would spin him, then she would stand and he would spin her, then she decided that she would spin him until she got herself dizzy. He got off the "spinner" and she climbed on and he told her "I'm dizzy, you turn yourself" and walked away like she was old news. It was such a little a**hole move. Poor little Bailey.

I wish I could tell you that his attitude changed later on, but when we got home from the park the phone rang and it was mother, who has the knack for calling when I am trying to cook dinner, you know the most convenient time for her, anyway, I told little guy to pick up the phone and chat with Grandma, and he did. The conversation started with a "Hello", followed by "I don't want to talk, so I am going to hang up". And that he did. It was actually funny because it was my mom who lately has been on my naughty list for being a tad annoying.

But, with these two little situations that occurred today, I am getting worried that our little goofball is becoming an a**hole! What am I supposed to do? Let him grow out of it? What if it's permanent? The warden is totally going to blame this one on me, he's really nice, and me, well, let's just say I can be a little rough around the edges, according to the warden. I can already see us getting a call from the cotillion instructors, that munchkin doesn't have a knack for being a good ol' southern gentleman. We are so screwed!

Couple's Retreat!

2009-10-22T09:56:00.003-04:00

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Date night, take two! We tried to see this movie for our anniversary date night and the power went out at the theater. We got rainchecks and decided that we would go this past weekend. The verdict on this movie: it was okay. We, the warden and I, love Vince Vaughn and Jon Favreau and Jason Bateman, so we were really excited to see this one. But we just thought it was all right. It's a renter. We didn't like Bateman's character, I can't stand Malin Akerman, she's a cheap version of Cameron Diaz, he thought it was weird to see Kristin Davis out of Sex and the City, but we both thought Faizon Love was pretty funny! It has some good laughs, but definitely not what we were expecting. We were expecting Swingers/ Old School humor, but got what we got! Date night was great, sushi was yummy (it was pregnancy friendly), and not having to put the little monkey to bed was priceless!

Grade: C- (actually a D+, but I'm feeling good right now)

To Cheat or Not to Cheat?

2009-10-12T20:33:00.003-04:00

That is the question....

So I went to my 16 week OB check today and while I waited for my fabulous doc, for an hour, I was chatting it up with a few other preggies and we were talking about what each other was having and I innocently said I am only 16 weeks we will find out on the next visit and one the sweeties said, why wait, why not go to Peek A Boo Baby? It's like $59 and you'll know sooner.

Hmmmmm...... Was that a sweet suggestion? Or was that a challenge? For those who know me, it sounds like a double dog dare. Why did she put the idea in my head? Sure, she was just being nice, but now I am going to have to avoid going near our neighborhood baby boutique and ultrasound shoppe Nestled Newborn.

I told my husband about this innocent idea and looked at me like hmmmm..., but then followed up with a look like don't even think about it.

I feel like if I go, I'll be cheating on a major test. Like a self-control test.

Damnit!

We'll see if I give in to temptation or if I utilize restraint... Stay tuned.

8 years into my Life Sentence.....

2009-10-06T14:20:00.002-04:00

It's not as bad as I make it sound. Just my warped sense of humor. It is the warden and I's 8th anniversary. It doesn't seem like eight years, but I have a hard time wrapping my head around how far we have come from our "newlywed" days. So in honor of our 8th anniversary, I've come up with 8 of our "finest" moments...

1) The time I got rid our couch to make room for a new one and found out it was back ordered for a month and we didn't have anywhere to sit. The warden took it like a champ.

2) The time I decided to join him on a midnight run, by riding my bike, and got so tired of peddling I threw my helmet at him and left the bike by a stop sign.

3) The time he went out of town and our bedroom doorknob broke and I got locked in our bedroom and had to call the neighbors and my dad to get me out.

4) Our infamous ski adventure.

5) The first time I told him I was pregnant, I took a cell phone picture of a pregnancy test and asked him if he saw what I saw.

6) Our first night home with the baby. We felt like the most under qualified parents EVER!!!

7) The ONE and ONLY time I tried to cut the grass.

8) All of the times when I had to start my conversations with, "Don't get mad, but...".

These are really all great moments, just because they are OUR moments. I joke alot about how crazy marriage can be and don't even get me started on parenthood. But, the truth is I love my life and it can get crazy and sometimes boring at times, but I can't imagine my life without the warden or the munchkin. They are the men in my life who will eventually drive me to drink, but they are mine and I love them.

You look familiar?

2009-09-27T09:26:00.005-04:00

So in my old age, I've noticed that I hear myself and others saying things like "do I know you?", "do we know each other?", and the famous "that's where I know you from". It's kinda sad that our memories seem to escaping some of us and our obnoxious curiosity just doesn't let us walk away from these people and let them escape our 20 questions, just to say hey to them to not seem rude. When in fact I am starting to think that it is more rude to take up their time with my stupid questions.

Anyway, I was at the car wash Friday morning and this guy walked out to the waiting area and he said hello and there I was, in my head, wondering who hell is this guy? After ten minutes of resistance, question one popped out, "does your kid go to school with my kid?", he responded "No, but you look familiar,too". It went silent for a few more minutes and then it clicked, he's the guy from the pool. I shared my revelation and he loudly, in front of at least ten people, shared "I didn't recognize you with your clothes on."

It was like the DJ stopped and the record scratched and the spotlight was pointed right at me. I was so embarrassed, thinking, oh no now everyone at the Mr. Clean Carwash thinks I am the town's stripper mom. And even though, he quickly followed up with a loud, explanation of seeing me in my bathing suit, I still felt like the town's adult entertainer, I decided to stop asking dumb questions. If I don't recognize someone, then I don't recognize them, it's okay.

Where the hell have I been?

2009-09-19T09:04:00.002-04:00

In a morning sickness induced coma! Yes, after a year of resistance, a little bit of persuasion and a MAJOR weak moment, I surrendered!

Although, we were totally conscious of what we were doing, no birth control and a fertility monitor "fertile alert", we were surprised to find out that our little rendezvous worked. We had actually been tinkering with the idea for a little while and made the decision that if it didn't happen, then it'd be okay. We decided that we wouldn't become obsessed with getting knocked up, by going through testing and medication, blah, blah, blah and I was fine with that because the idea of turning my cycles and sex life into a project didn't seem to be a desirable route, to me!

Anyway, enough about the logistics, I am with child, and I am out of my coma, still can't believe I was dumb enough to go through this again, but I am hopeful for great results. Now that I am physically feeling better, I am working on my mental state. I keep thinking over and over about my nightmare skiing experience. (A little insight into my skiing adventure: It was 2 years ago, I got removed from my beginner lesson and placed in private lessons for special needs skiers and completely humiliated by 2 and 3 year olds who skied better than I did, with pacifiers in their mouths. I actually got escorted off the slopes by ski patrol because I slammed into a barrier and knocked out a staff member.) I cried to the warden the other day about my fears and he tried to make me feel better and I told him I felt like having another one feels like he's asking me to go skiing again.

I'll be okay, there's no turning back now, the next challenge is how in the hell do we tell the munchkin that he will soon have a sidekick? He gets pissed when I buy other kid's birthday gifts. He actually gets a little miffed when the warden and I hug too long. We'll figure that out another day!

My EVIL Plan!

2009-08-01T22:17:00.003-04:00

So, lately I've had the urge to lie and enroll my three year old in kindergarten. Not because he is ready for it or even 5 years old, but because around here, school starts in some counties Monday, August 3rd, or in our county the 10th. And I do not live in denial, and must admit that little man needs something else to do besides hang out with me. Preschool doesn't start until the end of the month. BOO!

I can't believe that I am saying this, but I am tired of going to the pool. I am tired of thinking of new fun things to stimulate my munchkin. If I have to pack one more cooler of snacks and treats I think I am going to lock myself in the damn cooler! I've read the the best days of school are the first and the last and even though I was so reluctant to put my little munchkin in preschool,last year, I can't wait to send him back!

I know, I know, I sound like a selfish brat, but I don't care.

Here is my EVIL plan, for tomorrow:

I am invited to a baby shower at 11 am. I plan on going to shower, having a little fun and on the way home I am planning on "getting lost". Thank goodness for my little GPS, I can get lost whenever I want. I feel a little guilty, but that should pass. Enjoy your Sunday everyone, I sure will.

Have you ever had one of those funny days?

2009-07-09T21:01:00.002-04:00

Today began with an evite from a name I didn't recognize. I know a Anne* from the munchkin's preschool, but I didn't know her last name. I felt stupid calling her, but I had to because she was the only Anne* I knew. Thank Goodness it was her because the evite was for a "pole-dancing" class! I've always thought about going to one for kicks, but never thought I would get invited to one!

Then I was at out local Publix and like most mommies we get to know the staff at a few places, the grocery store, Target, and our salons and spas. Anyway, our favorite little cashier handed me an invitation to her Bridal Shower. I was surprised and congratulated her on the upcoming nuptials. I threw the invite in my purse and opened it when I got home. I almost fell off my chair when I read that it was a "Sex Toy" Shower. Apparently she is a virgin, who plans to "give it up in style" on their wedding night. I shit you not! It said this on a little insert, that I thought were directions to the place.

So needless to say my day was full of funnies! I didn't even check my mailbox today because I was afraid of what I might find in there!

Dinner + The Hangover = Our version of a date night!

2009-07-03T22:29:00.002-04:00

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The warden and I haven't had a "date night" in four weeks, so with a little help from Nana, we had a wonderful night out! Dinner was fine, but let me tell you: The Hangover was flippin' funny! I don't even know what my favorite part was because the whole damn thing was funny. Mike Tyson. The cop car. The naked Chinese man. The baby. The sunburn. Everything! This is a MUST see! Oh and Bradley Cooper is on my list! That fool is HOT!

Grade-A

Boys will be boys....

2009-06-30T21:19:00.002-04:00

We ran into the munchkin's former preschool teacher tonight, at dinner, and he announced to her and the rest of Chick-fil-a that he went pee-pee in the potty. She was so sweet and clapped for him while the other customers kinda giggled. Then he announced that he "pooted". It was not at all appropriate, but it was so funny. I know I complain alot about how this little turkey makes me want to jump, but when he catches me off guard like that, I just want to scoop him up and eat him. My grandma tells me that boys are little rascals sometimes, but they really do love their mamas. I love my little munchkin, inappropriate table talk and all.....

I LOVE Jessica and Hunter!

2009-06-24T19:46:00.004-04:00

Who the hell are they? Only the funniest duo on Youtube! Check them out (after you push pause on my playlist):
They are CRAZY! Check out the rest of their stuff!

Potty Training 099!

2009-06-19T22:47:00.003-04:00

That is not a typo, either. My husband and I are both not eligible to take on Potty Training 101, because let's just say we are equals on this subject. REMEDIAL! I may be able to kick his ass in reading comprehension and basic math skills, however WE ARE SCREWED with Potty Training!

I can't believe that our parents spent thousands of dollars on our two brains and we can't get a toddler to pee or poop in the toilet. Shit, I refuse to obsess about it anymore, because my self-esteem can't take it. But, I will say that I am coming to grips with the fact that my kid's got it in him, we just have to find a way to get it to stick! Our current trick is letting him blow out a birthday candle everytime he goes in the potty. I tried stickers, m&m's, rubber stamps, pennies, making myself cry (that's a lie, I got grossed out with a clean up and actually started crying),and other little bribes. The candle was my last straw and so far so good!

I haven't felt this dumb since we first brought him home. So as we enter week two, I hope my attitude will change and I won't have anymore breakdowns. If you are considering potty training, "May the force be with you". They really are like dogs, I almost emailed the Dog Whisperer for help.

Bring on the Motrin!

2009-06-12T22:57:00.002-04:00

Tonight I attended and participated in a 17 and up HIP HOP class taught by a choreographer from L.A.! It was VERY fun, but I think my body was not ready for the hour and a half class. I knew I was in trouble during the warm-up when I saw all of the teenagers stretch like they were in the circus. The routine wasn't so bad, however, when they broke us into groups and I had perform with the teenagers, I felt like a friggin' golden girl. There were only 4 "old" hags, including myself and believe you me, we didn't move the way the youngsters did. I had and blast and was really glad that I took the class, but tomorrow my body will be pissed off at me. Especially when the rigor mortis sets in!

The sun is not the only "son" melting my brain!

2009-06-10T12:39:00.002-04:00

I love the summer don't get me wrong, but it's only June 10th and I have already flushed all of the stuff I learned throughout the school year, down the toilet! I keep reading all of these articles about how to get your children to retain all of their hard work learned throughout the school year and now I am searching for a solution on how to salvage my mommy brain. I signed up our little guy for summer preschool and forgot when it started. It started last week. I also signed up for tennis camp, yep, you guess it, FORGOT! This is stuff I have been looking forward to for all spring, and poof!, I FORGOT! No words can explain how badly I wanted to schlep the boy off to granny's last week, when all along, I had already made arrangements. Oh well!

I guess my fun in the sun has melted my memory and my actual son has innocently torched the rest of my brain! I am back on track tomorrow, no more FORGETTING! Note to self: Don't blame "little guy" when he starts school and loses IQ points during the summer, blame genetics! I probably got it from my mom, the NUT!

If you can't tone it,tan it!

2009-06-02T20:59:00.004-04:00

I've been a little bit bolder this summer compared to those of summers past. Bolder,by means of my swimming attire. I have proudly been sportin' smaller bikinis this year,rather than my typical "prude-ish" ones worn in the past two years (post-baby),not because I am any smaller, but because I can! In fact, I am here to tell all of the mommies out there, who are hiding their super-fly bods, to show us what you got! Don't worry about such-and-such who just can't get back to "normal", inspire them! I don't think I can win any HOT body contests, but after reading the most recent issue of people magazine with Melissa Joan Hart on the cover, I put away my old lady suits and replaced them with bikinis that cover my boobies and ass,of course. Save the stringy numbers for "adult" swim, what if your hooter pops out in front of your kid's friends, they will never live it down! You can still be sexy and chase your little monsters in an appropriate bikini! Thongs by the kiddie pool are not appropriate! I repeat, THONGS, BY THE KIDDIE-POOL ARE NOT APPROPRIATE! And my motto for this summer of 2009 is : If you can't tone it, tan it! Happy Summer!

I am so ashamed of myself!

2009-05-18T13:33:00.003-04:00

The warden and I have finally decided that our house was in need of some cosmetic work, we seem to be very healthy on our inside, it was time to shape up our outside. Because, as our painter put it, "what's the point of being healthy, if you're ugly!". He is right! So with one little stroke of a pressure washer, our little "love nest" started to look like a new person! Who knew that a little exfoliation was going to look so good? I told my girlfriend, that the pressure washer must double as a magic wand. Even our stoop looks good. I actually felt sorry for our house, I feel like our home is part of who we are and can see how far we've come as individuals, a couple, and more recently a family. A lot of funny things have gone on in this house, the time a bird flew in it and the warden was out of town and I had to shoo it out myself, or the time our master bedroom doorknob broke and I was locked in it, while the munchkin was taking a nap, and I was talking to my neighbor outside my window, like Rapunzel and he was trying to coach me out without jumping, or the time I called the Fire Department because our Carbon Monoxide detector went off and I was convinced the "silent killer" was going to get one of us and they sent like five firemen ( the warden thought I was crazy until I heard him tell the firemen he had a headache and the firemen told him it was a false alarm, then all of a sudden he felt better). All of these moments in this little house make me laugh and I am so glad that it's getting a makeover, it's well deserved! The fresh paint will do it some good! I'm just so ashamed that it took us forever to do this. Sorry house.

What am I doing right this second?

2009-05-15T22:09:00.003-04:00

Scratching my mosquito bites. No, not my boobs, REAL mosquito bites. I can't believe they are already out and hungry. The lovely Georgia summers are always such a treat, frizzy hair and mosquito bites. Last week I considered dreadlocks and tonight I'll have to take a Benadryl for the itching. I LOVE it here! The warden thinks it's hilarious that I just have to stick my pinky out of the window and end up with an armful of bites. I guess they love me because of my sweetness, yeah right! Happy Almost Summer!

I really do LOVE the warden.....

2009-05-13T09:08:00.003-04:00

But, there is something about him going out of town that's kind of nice sometimes. He hasn't been on a trip in a while, so when he called me Monday to let me in on his weekly plans, I had to play it cool like "Oh no, not a trip.". When secretly, I was actually packing his bags in my head. Yes, my warped head. I am not a expert on anything except myself and I have found that for me, sometimes I need a little space. So thank you warden employers, you must've been reading my mind. Yesterday we had pancakes and peaches for dinner and I slept all over our bed and felt GREAT about it!

I am putting myself up for adoption!

2009-05-11T16:00:00.002-04:00

Yes, I am a 32 year old stable female, potty trained, bachelor's degree holding, married, self-sufficient, and overall low-maintenance woman in need of new parents. The ones I have been given need a serious overhaul. So, if you or someone you might know are looking for a new daughter, I am their girl. My hang-ups are minimal. I have been accused of being a bit of a smart-ass, but it's better than being a dumb-ass, right? And, I might be considered to some a little teeny bit too opinionated. That's it! I'd adopt me, but I would really like some new parents to treat me the way I am supposed to be treated, not like a toddler. As an added bonus, my sister will be a free gift, she's good people, too.

"You need a licence to fish, but any asshole can be a parent"
~Parenthood

It was like art imitating life....

2009-05-09T22:59:00.006-04:00

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I saw this sweet movie yesterday with my sissy and swear to you-know-who, that Matthew McConaughey's character "Connor", was actually one of my favorite friends. I recently spent some time with one of my favorite men on the planet and discovered that he too was a Connor, just jumping around from rock to rock, not quite sure what to think about all that mushy love stuff.

This movie was about a good-looking single guy, without any major hang-ups, just a loveless pessimist who knows how to love, but afraid of it. Anyway, he gets haunted by 3 ghosts, a la The Christmas Carol, and in a funny sweet way sees the error of his ways.

It was more entertaining for me because a lot of the shitty things that Connor was saying about love, I recently heard and didn't believe had actually come out of my buddy's mouth. So, what did I do this morning? I texted my love-phobe friend and told him to see this flick immediately!

Grade-B-
Matthew McConaghey HOT Factor-10

Happy Mother's Day to ME!!!

2009-05-09T21:42:00.002-04:00

And how have I celebrated myself, this weekend? I spent all day in our yard with my dear warden and the "time-out" king himself, my little nugget. It wasn't a day at the spa, I know, but all of our bushes are neat and trim. And as an added bonus, my flower box is stocked. Woo-hoo!

I know that some moms out there are thinking, WTF? Why on earth are you so pleased? The answer is simple, I actually asked for this, oh and pair of brown flip flops.

However, I must have subconsciously wanted a day to myself, because a few minutes ago, I found myself coming home from a late night run to Target and Walgreens, chatting on the cell, ending up in the driveway eating a 3 Musketeers, having a good ol' time.

Happy Mother's Day! Mimosas will be served tomorrow at 11 SHARP!

Do I HEART D.C.?

2009-05-04T22:07:00.002-04:00

Let's just say. I don't know yet. Could I possibly live there? Sure. Do I want to live there? Hmmmm... I've always been kind of a slow poke on commitment.

Oh, I guess it would help, if I explained myself. The warden and I spent a wonderful kid-free weekend in D.C, a kinda sneak preview into our future as possible residents in/near our Nation's capital. And let me just sum it up in a math equation.

Me+Warden+Kid+GA= Comfortable!
Me+Warden+Kid+D.C./VA= Not so Comfortable!

It is alot more expensive than ol' GA, with an apparent traffic problem that sounds made up. We are "hoping" to make a move in a couple of years, but thought what the hell, we've got a great friend that lives there already, frequent flyer miles that need to get used, a free babysitter (Thanks mom and dad), and time. So what the hell, we went! And had a great time, kid-less and cold beers, who could have asked for more? Well, I guess me.

I was loving those cold beers after our fun-filled day of checking out the area, they went down great and the buzzes I caught helped me forget about how tough these future decisions are going to get. Schools, commuting, new area. It was really strange. As excited as I am about the future, I am actually kinda freaking out, which isn't the best thing to be doing, but I guess it's normal. Right?

Anyway, do I HEART D.C.? I guess I'll have to approach it like an arranged marriage and make the most of it!

Who you callin' out of shape, Grandma? Oh, I guess me.

2009-04-21T13:48:00.003-04:00

Yesterday, I received a call from our local aquatic center about their aerobic class. About six months ago, I had an idea to join a aqua aerobics class, but got wait listed. So, as I tried to remember how long ago I wait listed, I found myself agreeing to be at the class this morning at ten sharp.

As, I pulled into my parking space I noticed something, all of the cars surrounding me were Buicks, Cadillacs, and Lincolns. What the hell, where are all of the mini- vans and SUVs?

Not at this class, it was me and the blue-hairs. How hard could this class be? Surely, they'll try to be easy on these folks. WRONG! I got my ass kicked. These sweet older ladies were on fire. We did all sorts of fat burning aerobics and then I heard "get your noodles and weights". So, I followed the queen bee's lead and gathered my weights and noodle and then I heard the instructor say something, I thought I misunderstood. "All right everyone, let's float like we are in a lounge chair and do our 100 sit-ups". WTF? Yes I said 100. I think the noodle slipped under me and I sank a little bit.

The moral to this story is to never ever underestimate the power of our elders, they really can still kick our asses no matter how old they are. And yes, I will be returning to my class on Thursday, that is, if I can get out of my aqua aerobic-induced coma!

Just avoiding the dishes!

2009-04-20T18:53:00.002-04:00

As I finished dinner and stared down the dishes, I thought, hmmmm...., I think I should blog.

The munchkin's party went off great, thanks to all the praying we did. We are lucky enough to have family in town so our soirees are usually family ones, with a few lucky friends, whom we've known for ages. It was a nice relaxing evening.

As I type I can hear the little guy singing "Happy Birthday", again. What a mess.

Speaking of mess I better go attack the kitchen, we should've had sandwiches, the warden wasn't home for dinner, damn thawed salmon!

Happy Easter!

2009-04-10T22:00:00.002-04:00

Not a very eventful week. In fact,it was a bit BORING! I will not complain, next week will be nutty because the our little monster is turning 3. So let's all say 3 Our Fathers and 3 Hail Marys for GOOD weather for his party.

Other than that, Happy Easter and step away from your kid's baskets, those chocolates are NOT YOUR FRIENDS!

What is that light, Mommy?

2009-04-06T10:09:00.002-04:00

Over the weekend, we were at my parents' house past seven o'clock, which for us is a BIG deal. Little Man's bedtime is 8:15, which means at seven we are usually in our house, chillin' out, watching Kipper, and keeping one eye on the clock. I feel like a temp waiting for five o'clock at a crappy job.

Anyway, as the skies grew darker, Munchkin saw a beaming light come through some clouds. It wasn't a plane, it was the moon. He shouted, "Look at that light, Mommy". All I kept thinking was, oh my gosh, my poor child has never seen the moon. I felt like such a bad mommy, like I'd been holding him hostage. It actually reminded me of the movie Blast From the Past ,with Brendan Fraser, the part where he comes out of the bomb shelter and he sees the sky for the first time.

Yes, I did feel a little guilty for keeping the moon away from him, but I got over it. We ended up leaving shortly after his first encounter with darkness and hope that one day he and the moon will reunite, but for the time being, he'll keep mommytime, you know, where it's daylight all the time!

My Kid, the comedian!

2009-04-03T22:45:00.004-04:00

My little guy and I weren't seeing eye to eye this evening. Right about 5:30 p.m. he turned into a little whiner. After dinner, we got into the car and he just kept going with the whining. So I turned around and told him I was going to send him to the moon. He replied, in a clear sentence, "No Mommy, it's (the moon) too high". My husband and I looked at each other like, Holy Smokes, that's that's pretty funny! I am happy to report that the munchkin and I are friends again, after his little funny he lured me back in like an bad boyfriend. He treats me like crap, and I fall for his charm, EVERY SINGLE TIME! Oh, the joys of Motherhood!

Can you be "burn-out", if you don't smoke?

2009-03-31T21:46:00.005-04:00

I didn't go to high school here, in the "peach" state, so I am not sure what the kids were called, who smoked cigarettes just off the school's premises, but where I come from we called them "burn-outs". I knew many burn-outs and thought that they were nice folks, but I also knew that if I needed to talk to them I was sure to find them behind our school smoking by the green electrical box.

I thought about these guys the other day when my husband and I were taking our little guy to have his picture taken with some live "Easter" animals. We were talking on the way there and I felt compelled to warn him about where we were headed. He asked,"We're just getting his picture taken,right?". I said, "Yes, but I need to tell you about the clientele.". Look, I love going places with our son, but when there is a photo op involved, I almost get embarrassed because of the way some of my fellow mothers act.

I told him, to treat this photo op like a drinking game. I told him to keep count of all the times he hears crazy ass moms shout their kid's crazy ass names, (Shepherd, Harley, Blade,etc.), or women calling their little girls by their first and middle names, (Anna Grace, Jenna Leigh,etc.), and to also keep track of how many of these ladies are dressed in work out clothes, even though they have clearly not worked out since most of them have full make up on. He thought I was crazy, but when it was over and we got in the car....

He looked at me and said, "Oh my gosh, you nailed it!". Of course, I did. I hate that I am "stereo-typing" fellow moms, but they do it to themselves. I love being a mom and I love other moms, but sometimes I feel like if Motherhood was high school, I would be a "burn-out". Because I can't stand the way other mothers act. They just act like morons. In high school, I was, I guess, popular, trendy, a cheerleader, involved in student activities, but I also hung out with questionable people because I thought that they were nice.

So my point is, I don't smoke, but after spending some time in line to see these "Easter" animals, I needed a drink and a cigarette. Which leads me to believe that maybe, just maybe, those "burn-outs" were on to something. I apologize to all the "burn-outs", in high school, hopefully, they didn't see me the way I saw some of these moms now, OBNOXIOUS!

I think my kid was trying to tell me something...

2009-03-26T21:35:00.002-04:00

Tonight, when I was getting the little man ready for bed, he looked at the ol' glider and said "Mommy's chair is falling apart".(I guess, he remembers my husband and I discussing the chair.) I said "yeah, it will be OK.". Then he took both of his hands and put them in my hair and said, "Mommy's hair is falling apart, too". At first, I laughed, then I took a look in the mirror and thought, he's right my hair looks like shit, it is falling apart. So thanks, little guy for letting mommy know that she is in need of a magic session with Adam. Let's just hope that when he is older, he learns to keep his opinions about his girlfriend's jacked up hair to himself!

A Great New Show!

2009-03-20T22:23:00.002-04:00

My husband and I have seen Chris Isaak in concert, either two or three times and can't tell you how much fun his shows are. So when I saw that he has a show called The Chris Isaak Hour, I was a bit intrigued. Like a good mommy, I DVR'd it last night and saved it for our "hot" Friday night. I am glad I did, too. Michael Buble was his guest and it was really good. The interview was fun and the performances were great. Everyone should totally watch this show. Guests that are coming up include: Stevie Nicks, Smashing Pumpkins(Oh HELLO 1994 Lollapalooza), Chicago (one of my dad's faves). Even if you just DVR the Michael Buble one, it's kinda romantic, when that hot little fool sings "Home". That song melts my heart everytime, even though my hubby swears Buble has "man boobs". Anyway, there's my recommendation for your "hot" spring nights!

Oh my Goodness!

2009-03-14T23:09:00.002-04:00

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I love movies, I especially love funny, kind of silly movies. I dragged my sissy,kicking and screaming, to this one, and since she is a "virgin" to Tyler Perry movies, I think she might have chuckled a couple of times and actually surprised herself. This movie will not win awards, but it did do the trick and made me laugh. I feel like lately everyone has been so serious and edgy, maybe its the end of winter blues, the economy, or maybe folks just feel like being pissed off, but me, I have got to get myself out of my "funk" and laugh. So, if you want to laugh, go see this movie or rent "Diary of a Mad Black Woman". Madea has a way of just saying it like it is and it kills me every single time......

Review- c+
Good Laughs- Priceless!

Ever wonder where "hand foot and mouth" disease comes from?

2009-03-04T21:03:00.003-05:00

I have been known or accused of being anal about germs and often wondered how in the hell some kids can get this awful disease called "hand foot and mouth" and today I saw with my own peepers how this disgusting disease gets around.

I'll give you a minute to get your barf bags ready.

You ready?

I was at the local mall today where they have an area for kids to jump around like hyenas and moms can sit and stare at other mom's methods of discipline. As well as, how long it takes them to realize that their child left the area 10 minutes ago while they were yucking it up on the phone with their neighbor who just had her first round of botox. Anyway, as I looked past all of the stereo typical suburban moms, there she was, a poor nanny watching over an infant in a carrier and a toddler, named Shepherd, I shit you not that was his name, just like Dr. McDreamy on Grey's Anatomy. Anyway, the nanny carefully placed the carrier and down and chased after Shepherd because his pants were falling down. About ten minutes into playing, I noticed a white little toosh shining at me and yep, it was Shepherd's. Apparently, his parents don't care if his clothes fit properly and don't believe in underwear, they just want to make sure that his clothes look expensive. The poor nanny couldn't keep getting up to keep him covered so she let him run around mooning everyone. Then it occurred to me that he wasn't just running around mooning us, he was sliding his bare bottom all over the play area and unless he's an animal that can lick his own ass to clean it, chances are his feces were contaminating the WHOLE area. I never left a place so fast, you would have thought that the wartime alarms were going off and was seeking shelter, I broke the human speed record.

I know that it is not Shepherd's fault that his pants didn't fit him and that his parents don't make him wear underpants, but wake up people, Shepherd doesn't need to be going commando when he's playing with other kids, the chaffing alone probably doesn't feel good, so on behalf of all the mom's out there who give a toot about our kid's health and disease-free lifestyles, keep your kid's dirty ass off of the play areas, it is soooooo NASTY!!!

My Personal Politcal Analogy

2009-02-27T21:41:00.002-05:00

I was watching Fox News this afternoon, during one of my son's timeouts, and heard one of the Fox commentators and an opposing commentator give and compare political analogies, neither made sense to me, but at dinner I was talking to my hubby about it and I came up with :

If our government was American Idol, Simon would be the GOP and Paula would be the democrats.

And kind of with a chuckle he said, "Sure".

If the political "news" media would speak to us in entertainment terms, I think we would all be better off.

Spencer and Heidi= GOP
Brad and Angie= Democrats

Feel free to share your analogies...

Pardon me doc, but you're an A-HOLE!

2009-02-24T13:12:00.002-05:00

I hate to be a complainer, but here I go.

My little guy went to bed last night with a low grade fever, 99.7 and a dose of Motrin. He slept fine, but woke up with the same fever and a pitiful little look on his face. So, I got us an appointment at 9:10 this morning. Of course, as we entered the "human incubator of funk", also know as the pediatrician's office, the little rascal was back to his old tricks. Except with a fever. The nurse took us back, weighed him, took his temp, 99.8, and asked me why we were there. Technically, I had no idea, except the fever and his pitifullness. The nurse asked me if we had been anywhere that could have possibly gotten his exposed to something. I told her we had been to a jumping place for a birthday and he went to a playland with Nana and Papa. She nodded like, duh? Anyway, we waited for our doc, who I have always liked until today. He checked him out, ears, nose, throat, back, tummy, and he found NOTHING! What does this mean, to me a common person, somewhat educated, privately insured, punctual, respectful? He's got a virus. Really doctor, what kind? "I don't know mom, there are 3000 kinds of viruses out there, so I don't know." I am not kidding you that is word for word what that A-HOLE said, "I don't know". Well doc, you know what I didn't know either, so I came to you, M.D.. I guess I should have gone to McDonald's to have my kid looked at, I would have gotten the same answer. These "professionals" kill me!

Foot in Mouth Syndrome!

2009-02-18T14:17:00.004-05:00

Hello Readers,
Do you ever say things in front of the wrong people?
or
Do you ever wish you could make your "word vomit" stop?
or
Do you ever, in mid-sentence, start clicking your heels, to see if you can leave a situation immediately?

If so, you are not alone, its called "foot in mouth syndrome"? I used to think I had tourette's. Wrong.... Then I was told that I lack what some people may call a filter... Wrong,again. I just talk and talk and talk. Damn it! I think it might be genetic, but unfortunately, it's untreatable,possibly fatal.

Today I ran into a friend of ours, who is single,and I was going on and on about how we think he should try to be the next Bachelor. We laughed and carried on and then his "girlfriend" met up with us and she kind of gave us a look like what are you guys talking about, and he got quiet so I said, 1/2 jokingly, that I was just telling him that he should be the next bachelor. Ha! Ha! She didn't think it was funny at all, actually she snarled. Whoops! First, I didn't know he was seeing anyone, and let me add, he's like 60 and she's probably mid-40's, and I really didn't mean to piss her off. Anyway, if anyone suffers like me, please help me get the help I need before I get my ass kicked.

Our Valentine's Day

2009-02-15T20:32:00.003-05:00

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Our BIG Valentine's date was actually Friday night. It was really nice because my hubby came home early, like three and Nana and Papa came to get our little offspring at three thirty. It was as if God was reading my mind. We went to dinner and to see the movie Taken. Dinner was so-so, but the movie was awesome. I actually chose this movie, not my hubby, and enjoyed every ass-whipping it had to offer. After the movie, I told my husband that I wish I could kick someone's ass as swiftly as this guy did. Real romantic-huh? Anyway, we were home around nine and since this week I was battling a not very sexy cough/throat funk, my awesome ENT, Dr. Mark Yanta, prescribed me a super-duper cough medicine that not only knocked my cough out of me, it actually knocked me out. The romance was turned on high this V-Day. Needless to say, I feel great and had a great date with my hubby even though it was a sedated one.

Oh, as for the movie Taken. Loved the story, loved the action, didn't really care for the way the daughter treated her dad, but I understand it's fiction. Ummmmmm...

Grade-A-
Date Night-A+

Slumdog is my favorite dog!

2009-02-01T21:24:00.002-05:00

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This was a very cute movie. A little sad in some parts, but a great balance between drama and endearing? I guess. Is it a must see? Let me just say that its not a disappointment, but I'm not convinced its "Best Picture". I saw it with a friend and my sister and we all enjoyed it. It was kind of a Girl's Night, so that is always fun.

Grade- Solid B+

Funniest Insult I Can't Wait to Use....

2009-01-27T22:53:00.003-05:00

"You're a giant toddler"
~Lawrence from Smart People

I actually rewound (is that a word?) the movie to make sure I heard it right and laughed again. Isn't that funny? I can't wait for my husband to do something crazy so I can say it, then watch him try to figure out why I'd call him a toddler. HA!

Our HOT Saturday Night!

2009-01-25T22:32:00.005-05:00

Last night was pretty much a low point in our 2009. We ate PB&J for dinner and rented two movies. Well, I need to correct myself and say my dear husband rented us two movies. First things first, we have not rented a movie in at least seven years and to prove it, Blockbuster had to tap into their DOS system to find our name. My husband said it was funny because the guy looked at him like "Dude, you weren't kidding". Anyway, my darling rented Step Brothers and Rambo. I don't know if he was drunk or had a gun held to his head, but I was shocked by his choice. Needless to say, we watched Step Brothers and it was just really dumb, and as for Rambo, let's just say I passed on that epic.

It kinda felt like we were newlyweds again, though. Cheap college-like dinner, bad rentals, the only thing that was different was our better, more sophisticated TV. The movie was terrible, but it had one good line:

"When she gets old enough, I am gonna put her in a home."
~Will Ferrell as Brennan in Step Brothers.

HA! That kills me. The next time my mom says or does something messed up, I will totally use it. So.... Thank you crappy Will Ferrell movie, you had one zinger. Oh, and dear husband the next time we decide to rent a movie you will not be in charge. Moron!

Who are the Wheelers on your Revolutionary Road?

2009-01-24T16:25:00.007-05:00

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I have been really curious about this film for months now and the verdict is in..
this movie is fantastic. The acting was good, but the story is phenomenal. I went with my husband to see this last night and even he liked it. Though the story is dark, sort of depressing, and a whiff twisted. It is definitely a "Must See". The movie is about Frank and April Wheeler, who appear to be a typical suburban couple, complete with 2.5 kids, great house, she stays at home while he works in the city to support his stereotypical 1950's family. What makes the story so friggin' interesting is how Richard Yates, the author of the book Revolutionary Road, captured the gritty truth about marriage, kids, and living in suburbia. The fight scenes between this husband and wife are so real and the subject matter is so personal, it truly is art imitating life. I don't think that single people would like this movie, or people who are in denial about their "perfect" marriage would like it either, but if you are in a stable honest relationship, where your fights can get personal, not physical, you'll see this movie with different eyes. Definitely a "Must See" and you should see it with your spouse and talk about it afterwards, because you will definitely be able to recognize who the Wheelers are in your life, they really do exist and the parallel will shock you.

Grade-A

Kids Truly Love You, No Matter What or Who You Are.

2009-01-20T22:08:00.009-05:00

What a Great Day for Our Children! I know that there are a lot of Debbie Downers out there, who have not gotten to a happy place yet, with our new administration, but you guys are going to have to get over it and you have got to start NOW! I watched today's inauguration, and must admit that I was really getting excited about my son's future. I must add, that I have never actually watched the swearing in, LIVE. It was so cool, all of the tradition and preparation was exciting. I, in the past, have always been at work or school, but today, I actually took my son to school, power walked for an hour, and started a load of laundry before I sat down and got a little misty eyed, when I saw our "Former" President welcome our "New" President. I know that's kinda dorky, but who cares. Then tonight, as I was looking through tons of pictures the web has already posted, I came across this one and thought it was too cute, not to share with all of you. It totally reminds me that President Obama is really just a dad/husband/son-in-law/son/grandson/classmate/friend. And by the look on his little one's face, she doesn't really give a flip who he is or what he does as long as she knows that he loves her enough to keep her safe, keep clothes on her back, and her belly full. That's all we can do for our kids and that's really all they want us do for them. Let's celebrate today through our children's eyes and embrace who we want to become!

Oh no, my DVR is too small for Mondays!

2009-01-13T09:54:00.002-05:00

My name is Andrea and I'm a TV-aholic.

Hi Andrea.

Last night was not good. The warden and I almost started a fight during a commercial break and it wasn't pretty.

Mondays are not everyone's favorite, but in our house since the winter line-up has decided to kick ass, Mondays are our new "pre-kid" Fridays. But, I am afraid to report that my claws came out last night. I had my DVR scheduled to record Gossip Girl at 8p and How I Met Your Mother at 8:30p. Everything was fine, until I heard "Oh Shit". I was in our bedroom watching The Bachelor, and went to our living room, to find my husband yelling at the TV. Apparently, during his precious 24, My two recordings during 8:30p kicked him out of 24. Whoops! He was mad, but instead of asking me if I would mind if the recording stopped on one of them, he took it upon himself to choose for me. What a dick. I asked him what was wrong and he told me that the DVR is not to record dumb shows. Excuse me, asshole, you mean to tell me that Trucks and 4X4 TV, is worthy of a "series priority", I don't think so.

Needless to say, he told me he stopped How I Met Your Mother, and instead of saying something mean, I told him that I was going to throw one of his favorite things away, tomorrow and he would have to guess what it would be. How childish of me, right? I don't think so. You can mess with my cooking and make fun of my mama, but don't mess with my TV. I guess we'll have to get another DVR, to peacefully coexist.

Girl's Day Out!

2009-01-10T22:12:00.003-05:00

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It was a rainy day in Atlanta, but a perfect day for a eight fabulous ladies to enjoy a good chick flick. We got together and saw Bride Wars. It wasn't the greatest movie in the world, but anytime out with the girls is always fun. The theater was packed with chicks, so it must have been in the air for a little sister time. Anne Hathaway is one of my favorite actresses, right now, (GO SEE RACHEL GETTING MARRIED!) and Kate Hudson is always just so fun and even though the trailer showed all of the funny parts, it was a good way to spend a rainy Saturday. Oh, and the beers and bar food were quite enjoyable, too. So, here's to Girl's Day Out! Cheers!

Movie Rating- C
Day Rating- A+

One teeney little manipulator! (aka My Little Dictator)

2009-01-08T19:39:00.002-05:00

I know this will sound weird, but I think my son was a lawyer, in his previous life. Not a good lawyer, like Atticus Finch, but some sort of ambulance chaser. That little turkey has started to talk more and he has become quite the persuader. For example, the other day he told me he was going to play in the back room, which is actually, his favorite poop-stop in the house, yes, you judgemental moms out there, he is 2 1/2 and still in diapers,anyway, he actually took the q-tip container and cleaned out his ears and nose. I know he succeeded too, because there was a booger on one q-tip and some faint yellow earwax on another. He wasn't playing the back or poopin',he was manscaping. I'm all for grooming and hygiene, but just tell me you're going to get into to something that is off-limits, and don't start sneaking around. And what reminds me of a crooked lawyer is what "no-no" thing he did, because technically he was just trying to groom himself, so how can I get mad at him for doing something perfectly legal? I guess, I just feel duped.

I'm guessing the manipulation will only continue, but I am hoping that he continues to just try to sneak in good things, like grooming, and not start smoking cigarettes in his fort.

Best Things about the New Year!

2009-01-06T14:23:00.002-05:00

The best thing about ringing in a new year is my beloved "boob" job. I am not talking about my "pointer sisters", I am talking about my boob tube, that's TV for you nerds out there who didn't know. Every January, after the holidays, the networks like to pull out all of the stops and give our boob tubes the lift and pump they need. Last night, my DVR was busy. New Gossip Girl, new How I Met Your Mother, and drum roll please..... NEW The Bachelor. My mind was totally flooded with excitement, I almost lost it when the warden dared to ask the question "how long does this show last?". That fool should know to just enjoy every second these shows have to offer and to flip out when it ends on a climactic note. Other mentions of mindless TV include: VH1's Confessions of a Teen Idol, check out Eric Nies, remember him from MTV's the Grind and Real World One, it took me a rewind to believe it was him; ABC's True Beauty is good and VH1's Rock of Love Tour Bus is great, I think Brett Michaels is funny as hell and I wish he was our neighbor, he really seems to be a good guy. That's all I've got. Happy New Year.

Valkyrie? Me? Yes, I know. I only have myself to blame.

2009-01-05T12:50:00.003-05:00

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I actually went and saw Valkyire, and even though you won't be seeing Mr. Cruise on any nomination lists this year. I must admit that the story was good and it kind of shone some light on how crazy the way "Hitler's" Germany was back then and how today's "world" problems are kind of the same as they were way back when, with different players. Overall, I am glad that I had a gift card to see this one, but wish that Tom would have put a little more effort into this film and at least tried to act more like a one-eyed German soldier than Maverick a la Top Gun. Definitely a great story, but if you are looking for great acting, go see something else.

My Review: C-

I smell an Oscar.

2008-12-28T20:19:00.003-05:00

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I got a "Get Out of Jail Free" card last night and let me tell you, it was so worth it. My sister-in-law is new to this "Get Out of Jail Free" stuff, so I was so glad that she used it on this movie. Papa Pitt really did good on this film. Cate Blanchett was, as usual, fantastic. And this movie was the best I've seen in a while. So Moms if you are reading this and thinking that you need a night out, go see this movie! You will not be sorry, in fact, think of it as a little post-holiday gift to yourself. It's not too dramatic, it's not silly, and it doesn't have Jennifer Aniston in it. Which make it a definite "Must See". Oh and also, I don't care if (yawn) Marley and Me beat The Curious Case of Benjamin Button in box office sales, you won't be seeing Aniston or the dog on the red carpet this awards season.

A little HO! HO! HO!

2008-12-23T22:39:00.003-05:00

I found this on youtube and thought it was funny. Turn of my playlist to enjoy....

Merry Christmas! HO! HO! HO!

No I am not in AA. I just use it for the prayer.

2008-12-18T22:34:00.006-05:00

"God grant me the serenity

To accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And the wisdom to know the difference."

So, normally I don't like to talk about faith or God, however, I would like to tell you a little bit about what "The Serenity Prayer" means to me. First, I am not an addict. But, when my sissy and I saw Rachel Getting Married, (which you must see because it kicks ass), during one of her meeting scenes they are saying this prayer and I was totally moved my its words and how it can be applied to my life as a mom or wife. I've heard it before, but never really listened to what it means.

I know that I complain about my husband and son and how they drive me crazy, but I really do love them and I guess I can be a bit rigid and I know that I just need to let it go.

What I am suggesting, I guess, is for all of us, control freaks out there, to make a deal that this new year, 2009, be a year of serenity to:

"...accept the things I (we)cannot change,

The courage to change the things I (we) can,

And the wisdom to know the difference."

I'm all for getting involved in your kid's lives, but ladies quit while you're ahead.

2008-12-17T16:24:00.004-05:00

My sister works for a huge retail store and like most people who have worked the service industry, we have heard it all. If you've worked at a restaurant, we know about allergic reactions, there is no need to go into to detail about swelling, order your damn food and get out. If you've worked at a hair salon, we know if you've used cheap dye. If you've worked in a doctor's office we know what an emergency is and we know that if you are really sick you will take whatever appointment we can give you, no matter if it interferes with little Sally's tap lessons. And if you have worked retail, we have definitely seen and heard it all.

However, one thing I have never heard is "Before I check out, let me call my daughter's friend to make sure she will like this one". WTF? Since when is it okay for moms to act like her daughter's friends are her friends? If anything she should call another mom to make sure, not her friend directly. I'm sorry lady, but you belong on a list for the socially retarded. It is never cool for moms to break the code of teenagers*. (**Code of Teenagers: Parents are not your friends.**)If it's the wrong one, oh well, most teenagers think their moms are crazy and wouldn't be surprised if you screwed up her holiday wish list.

My point is give your kids some space, let them have a private life, and secretly keep tabs on them, the old fashioned way. Spy on them, listen to them when they are talking to you, or just talk to the other moms. Give them space, but if suspect your kid is a big hoe bag, or a druggie, of course you should intervene, but seriously ladies, if you think your a cool hip mom, it doesn't matter how new your boobs are, or how old your surgeon told you you look, you are still a mom and they are still just kids. Get your own friends your own age, Dena Lohan(s)!

Our KID-FREE Weekend!

2008-12-14T20:32:00.002-05:00

Like most parents,with a pulse, we, on average,go out, as a couple, once every other month. We usually go to dinner and a movie, or sometimes just one or the other. The warden has been traveling a little more than usual, this year, so "date nights" have been somewhat "non-existent". So, after figuring out how many frequent flier miles he's racked up, I decided that it was time to redeem those babies and book a "kid-free" holiday. Where did we go? Was it warm and tropical? Or was it another attempt at a skiing adventure?

Neither, we went to the WINDY City. Yes, it was a tad chilly, but it was a place we had never been to together. And quite honestly, it was absolutely perfect. We just walked the Magnificent Mile,Rush Street and State Street, went to the Museum of Science and Industry, Navy Pier, and you bet your sweet bippy we ate like little pigs. It was great.

No strollers, no meltdowns, no bedtimes, no "wake" times, no time outs, no repeating myself, no 5 minute showers, no kid menus, it was all about US!!!! Finally. I wish I could say we had great stories to share, but we honestly just relaxed and enjoyed freezing our asses off, just US.

***I know I am going catch some shit for failing to call some old friends of mine, that live nearby,but I hope that they understand that it was just a me and the warden weekend. Thank you also to my p's for watching the little dictator, you have no idea how HUGE that was of you.XOXO

I Made Love to a Milkshake....

2008-12-08T20:50:00.002-05:00

No. Not Really. However, after indulging in Chick-fil-a's Peppermint Chocolate Chip Milkshake today, I did have the urge to smoke a cigarette. If you live near a Chick-fil-a,I urge you to go try one of these puppies out. The little dictator, the warden and I sucked that thing down. We were at the mall today, and I noticed that as the holidays are growing near, people's fuses are getting short. But, if we all treated ourselves with a little bit of yummy, it helps take the edge off. So, for one last time, TRY THE FRIGGIN' MILKSHAKE!!!!! You will not be sorry.

My Little Guy was put in "time-out" yesterday @ School!

2008-12-03T16:42:00.002-05:00

Great, one more thing to worry about. My behavioral-disordered child. I know that I was being set up yesterday when Ms. Teacher asked,"how do you discipline at home?". I told her the truth, which is we "send him to his room". Which actually, for us, has benefits, "out of sight out of mind". She looked relieved when I said that, because she then followed up with your kid and his little pal were little shits today and they both went to time out. I was wondering why she sighed in relief and then I remembered that this is 2008 and there are parents out their who don't believe in any discipline. I don't know how they do it, but God Bless them. So here's a question, do I need to apologize for his behavior, next time he gets in trouble, or do I just listen to the report and smile? I can't believe this was the first time, he is sent to his room like 3 times a week and I must say "NO!" about a dozen times a day. I guess he's just testing out these ladies, but I am still embarrassed. He must get this naughty behavior from his father's side of the family, because he certainly didn't get it from my side, we are all perfect.

A New Found Pleasure......

2008-12-01T09:00:00.002-05:00

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About ten weeks ago, the magician who cares for my hair, Adam, recommended a little "new" show called True Blood. A few weeks after that, a fabulous girlfriend of mine,Erin, concurred with the magician and told me I had to watch it. So after seven weeks of procrastination, I am slowly getting reeled in and I've only watched three episodes, but I can say that I am actually hooked. I never watched Buffy, I've only seen one vampire movie, Lost Boys, and quite honestly I thought vampires were kind of silly. I was so wrong. This show is great. So, thank you Adam and Erin for getting me hooked on something new. And to anyone whose thinking of taking on a new pleasure, check out True Blood on HBO OnDemand, you won't be sorry. FYI: The character Jason is HOT! But, Bill, the vampire is kinda turning me on, too.....

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!!!!

2008-11-26T22:35:00.002-05:00

I am thankful for.....

1. My DVR
2. My Hip Hop Class
3. My munchkin's bedtime
4. Concealer
5. Gossip Girl
6. The new Five Guys by my parents house.
7. Tuesday and Thursday Mornings, when my munchkin is at Preschool.
8. On Demand feature
9. Trashy Magazines
10.Oh, duh? The Warden and the dictator. (A.K.A. my hubby and munchkin)

Happy Turkey Day! Wear you BIG girl dress or comfy sweat suit to stuff your face with all of your favorite foods!
XOXO

Top 5 D-BAGS on TV

2008-11-25T19:17:00.003-05:00

That's Douche-Bags for you prudes, out there.

Last night I watched MTV's The Hills and decided I can't take much more of that Spencer. He is so gross. Heidi's not too far behind, but let's just say I just think she's stupid. Anyway, it got me thinking that I really don't like alot of folks on TV. So here's my list of D-BAGS....

1. Spencer Pratt (from The Hills)- he just creeps me out, he looks like a date rapist and his chin pubes really make me ill.

2. Charlie Gibson (ABC News)- Nice pinkie ring (see for yourself).

3. Michael Yo (E!'s Daily 10)-he's a tool.

4. Billy Bush (Access Hollywood)- Yawn.....He's dumb.

5. Katie Couric (CBS News)- Yeah, she's a chick, but who cares?

What about you guys, who do you think is a D-BAG?

Disney Star turned Fabulous (minus rehab).

2008-11-22T10:34:00.002-05:00

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I love love love Anne Hathaway. This movie is a great case of how to make in Hollywood, post Disney fame. So what, if her ex was a con-man, this girl can act. And the way this movie was shot, made me like I was actually at the rehearsal dinner, wedding, and reception. It was absolutely beautiful. Though the story was dark, it actually captivated the relationship of this family, in a realistic way. It was refreshing to see that Hollywood acknowledging "real life". The Grade for this flick, A- . The minus is for not marketing this movie more, shame on the studio.

Goodnight Mom.....

2008-11-19T21:18:00.008-05:00

I found this in a Parenting magazine today, while I was actually waiting to be seen by Atlanta's GREATEST ENT, Dr. Mark Yanta. I have this obnoxious cough and my ears and sinuses are feeling funky, so I figured I should get it checked out, after 3 weeks of saying it would go away. Moms you know what I am talking about, we are always taking care of others, but never ourselves, blah,blah,blah.... Anyway, this is for anyone who might have read Goodnight Moon one too many times......

Goodnight Mom(with apologies to Margaret Wise Brown)
By Sarah Jio, Parenting

In the messy green
family room
There was a telemarketer ringing the telephone
And a crying toddler
because his brother just popped his
red balloon
And a picture of--

The cow jumping over the moon (which someone colored on with permanent marker)
And there was a missing
teddy bear, and a girl with
gum in her hair

And one to be scolded
And laundry to be folded
And a very hungry spouse
And something stinky in the house
(that no one else seemed to smell)

And a comb and a brush and a colicky baby who just won't shush
And a frazzled mommy screaming #*%#@

Goodnight messy room
Goodnight scribbled-on moon
Goodnight cow getting out while she can
Goodnight telemarketers and the
popped balloon
Goodnight long-gone teddy bear Goodnight cereal bar smeared all over the dining room chair

Goodnight spitup
And goodnight leaky sippy cup
Goodnight much-too-little house and goodnight grumpy spouse
Goodnight comb and goodnight brushAnd goodnight to a certain 4-year-old who just needs to hush right now I mean it

Goodnight Elmo
Goodnight toys we'll pick up tomorrow,
or the next day
Hello chardonnay and TiVo--
"me" time finally

Calling all Nerds! Calling all Nerds!

2008-11-17T15:33:00.002-05:00

I am not knocking Nerds, by calling them Nerds. I love all of God's creatures, but I will give a very lucky Nerd a lap dance if one of them could invent a........ Laundry Robot! Please! Please! Please! I am telling you that my latest and greatest enemy is our laundry hamper. If I had the means to have new clothes delivered to my house everyday, I would throw dirty clothes in the trash daily, actually I'd even recycle it (it'd be dirty, but usable). So back to my plea, if you know of someone who is into inventions, tell him or her to make me my Laundry Robot......

One of the funniest parts in Waitress

2008-11-15T23:38:00.004-05:00

No, I am not preggers! But, I had to share this clip from Waitress with everyone. It's called "Bad Baby Pie".....(Don't forget to press pause on my kick ass playlist, enjoy.)

If you haven't seen this movie, please rent it or look for it on HBO OnDemand.

Have something cute on,when I get home.

2008-11-15T22:11:00.005-05:00

I think the warden has been drinking.

Once again, the warden was out of town this week and the little dictator,our son, was in rare form. Our little guy does well during the week, but on the weekend he is kinda like a binge drinker. You know how during the week most drunks are functioning alcoholics , then on the weekend they act like mean drunks who think its classy to get in fights. That's our Pride and Joy. I am so over it.

Anyway,back to the title of this blog. I just got off the phone with the warden, who is at his BFF's in DC, waiting to watch Tummy Sticks, that's what I call UFC, and we were talking about him coming home tomorrow and he asked me if I was going to have on something cute for his arrival. I said yeah, a two year old. Jackass!

I know he was kidding, but in my noggin I was thinking, WTF? Yes, I am excited that he is coming home, but for different reasons. Before our son, I used to love it when he came home just because I guess, I missed him. Now, my tune has changed a bit. I miss him, but with ulterior motives . I just want him to come home to do shit for me, like help out with bath time, bedtime, etc.. I am starting to feel sorry for him, how shitty is it of me to only want him to come home to do stuff for me? Why do kids make have to make life so different?

I know we make our own choices, but I am starting to feel like once you have kids your own personal choices are no longer personal. It's like,where do we go? And do we ever get to come back? You can't have something cute on when your husband gets home at lunchtime, where will you put your kid? In front of TV? Aren't we supposed to be watching their television intake? Or do we hire a babysitter for 15 minutes? (Girls, let's be honest we know that's all the time they need.) I wish I could figure out a way to blend my former life with my current life and enjoy it more. I am not unhappy with who I have become, but I wish that I could have studied for this part of my life. That way, I could have prepared for it. ( I know that sounds like a control freak.)I feel so over-whelmed sometimes that I actually feel bad for my husband and son, because I selfishly just miss my former self, the woman who never really gave a shit about anything else and probably would have something cute on for her warden.

KID FOR SALE!!

2008-11-09T18:30:00.002-05:00

Oh wait, this isn't Craig's List.

I am about to lose it with my little dictator. He has been quite the demon this weekend. And please don't give me that excuse that he is TWO. I can't hear you! LA LA LA LA LA.....

I can't believe that God, himself, programs these little creatures to act like crazy people. Wait a sec, can I say crazy people, is that politically correct?

Not a very eventful weekend, just a lot of holding my breath, telling myself to not react, you know your run of the mill parenting. So back to my ad, Kid For Sale.

Oh never mind, I'll give him one million more chances and then he will be on the auction block, for sure, the little turd.

Congratulations, President-Elect Obama

2008-11-05T09:28:00.003-05:00

What a great day in the Obama house. I hear his girls went to school like normal today. Funny,huh? I understand that some folks are kinda mixed about these election results, but if you are a parent, please remember that it is always better to take the high road and support our leaders. Some of us might not have voted for who won, but whomever won deserves our respect and prayers.

Now, enough about the election already, isn't it time we focused on more important matters like Denise Richards is coming back to TV. (My guilty pleasure is coming back to E!). God Bless America......

***Oh, this picture was taken by me @ a Town Hall meeting in GA, earlier this summer. To the left of the Secret Service Agent's BIG head is Obama.***

Top 5 "weird" things I LOVE.

2008-11-03T14:38:00.006-05:00

They may be weird for you, but great for me!

1. Taco Bell- OMG! I adore Toxic Smell, as my sissy's boyfriend calls it.
2. Hawaiian Pizza- No one wants to share it with me, because nobody understands.
3. Gossip Girl- I feel like I am all alone with this fabulous TV program.
4. Mild Chicken Wings- Hot ones are GROSS! Who enjoys sweating while they eat?
5. Any NON-Sci-Fi movie. YAWN! They are so corny. Especially ones with Will Smith. I will watch anything else, but if aliens are involved (or Will Smith),Forget it! NERDS!!!!!

How about you? What are some weird things that you love?

How much Halloween candy did you eat?

2008-11-02T21:04:00.002-05:00

I took my little Buzz Lightyear trick-or-treating Friday and the little superhero got a ton of candy. Being the careful parent I am, I went through it carefully to make sure that it was safe. Safe meaning, "Is it something mommy would like?". Here is how I check my child's candy (step by step):

Step One- Put child to sleep.
Step Two- Draw all of the curtains.
Step Three- Pour the candy all over counter.
Step Four- Divide treats in to two piles, shitty and yummy.
Step Five- Check on child(make sure he is really asleep).
Step Six- STUFF MY FACE.

I kinda got a tummy ache after my "binge",but damn it was good. I can't wait until the warden comes home,so he can take all of this candy to work. I'll be like 500 lbs. when he comes home.

I feel weird saying this, but I kinda miss the warden (my husband).

2008-10-29T18:10:00.007-04:00

I know, I know I never have much to say about my husband, at least anything good or sweet. So, no need to worry that I am going to get mushy, I am however, going to list my Top 5 Married Moments, so far.

1. Our trip to Durango, CO- It was the worst trip of my life. But, despite my inability (or disability) to ski. We have laughed more about that trip than we ever thought possible.

2. Our moonlight bike ride- I must have been drunk when I asked him to get me a bike for Christmas. When I said bike, I meant like a banana seat, beach cruiser,not a mountain bike. WTF was he thinking? He decided to go for a run at like midnight and I thought I would ride a long side of him. Bad idea! My legs were burning so bad that I threw the bike on the ground and started to walk away, he asked me what I was doing and I whipped my helmet at him.

3. The way I told him I was pregnant- I didn't know what to do, he was out of town and I couldn't figure out how to say it. So, I took a camera phone picture of the EPT and sent it to him over the cell phone.

4. The time our parents went to D.C. with us- Yes, I said our parents. My mom and dad and his mom and dad. It was a disaster, but we survived and to this day I can't look at those street signs that count down how much time you have to walk, without hearing my father in law, in his loud and somewhat obnoxious voice counting along with it.5..4..3..2..1. (I am rolling my eyes as you read.)

5. The time we were talking trash to each other about who was cooler and I said "Well, who's the hip hop dancer?"and we both lost it.

I hope you enjoy this entry,as much as I enjoyed remembering these things.

A Dedication to all the Wannabe"Cool" Moms

2008-10-28T22:40:00.004-04:00

I often wonder what it would have been like if my mom would have been a little bit looser with me as a kid, but the more I think about it I am actually glad that she was a "normal" mom. At least she wasn't like Regina's mom, whom my sister teases me about all the time. So all you crazy "cool" moms, take a peek at how stupid you look.......

Smooches to my sissy, who tries her damnedest to help me keep it real.

A blast from the past, is a GREAT thing!

2008-10-25T21:42:00.004-04:00

Okay, so here's my story. I grew up in a suburb of Chicago called Bolingbrook, or the "Brook". And personally, I loved my childhood/adolescence/young adulthood because of this little town. I tell my husband all the time that I want our son to grow up in a place like I did. So let me get to the point.

A few months ago, one of my oldest,dearest girlfriends from the "Brook" called and insisted on me joining a website called "the Brook", it was like Face Book. So, I did and sure enough all of these memories started flooding back into my head. And I so badly wanted to share them with someone who was there. And unfortunately,my poor husband just didn't get it. It was kind of exciting and weird all at the same time. But, it was also kind of sad because I didn't have anyone to share it with. People I had forgotten about and people who I thought of often were popping up on this site faster than teenagers to a keg. I felt like I should do something about it.

Almost immediately, I got messages and sent messages to a few of my long lost BFF's. These girls were my whole life for years and like most friendships things changed, we got married, had kids, careers, etc. Pretty soon, we had separated. Not in a vicious fight or anything just parted ways. But I can honestly say that every year I think of them on their birthdays and have the fondest memories of our lives that we truly shared. Sure, we might have missed some milestone events, but there is something about our friendship that never got lost.

So Thursday, I got an email from one of my long lost BFF's and she gave me her phone number and before I even finished reading the email I called her. It was like one of those moments where you don't even think about it, you just do it. And I laughed with her and felt like even though I hadn't talked to her in seven years,it didn't matter.

We talked about our current lives, what happened in past seven years, our families, our husbands, this damn website we are all addicted to, and our pasts. I couldn't believe how fun it was to be talking to someone who knew all of my old stories. Funny shit about old boyfriends, who farted in front of me and completely grossed me out, stories about my poor mom having to drive drunk boys home from my old house, the stories were flying out of our mouths like they were just yesterday.(I know that sounds old fashioned.)

I didn't feel weird talking to her, in fact, I felt like it was about time that I had. There was no need to waste any more time thinking that I should call or email. I just did it. And it gave me a chance to remember a lot of funny/good times in my life that no one else would ever know about except my BFF's from way back when. I've made friends since then, don't think I am some loner, but being able to talk to someone who knows the skinny on your past is quite the blessing. So, thanks BFF for making me laugh and reminding me that we had so many good times together and it would be really dumb if we let seven more years go by before we shoot the shit again.

Oh Geeze,my kid has the Squirts!

2008-10-22T16:33:00.002-04:00

I have been very fortunate for the past couple of years. My little guy has never been as sick as he has been for the past three days. He has the SQUIRTS! It's gross as an adult to have them, but let me tell you, cleaning up someone else's is worse. I don't give a flip if the mess is my sweet little baby's. It's NASTY. So, here's my question, "Is he sick because of the preschool?". I just recently put him in a two day a week program at the local church and since then we have been to the doctor three times in two months. I used to work at a doctor's office so I know not to stalk my doc for every single thing, but I just can't understand how my sweet healthy toddler has turned into "germ ball"? Yes, I do understand that kids pick their noses, lick their fingers, and rub their eyes, but come on, they get sick on contact. It sucks. And the worse part is once they recover from one thing, its like something else is lingering around the corner. I'll get back to my cleaning. My house smells like the Lysol factory. SQUIRTS SUCK!!!! Oh and a message to all you mother's out there, who still send their kid to school sick because you have to get your hair highlighted or you have tennis, SCREW YOU! It's people like you who spread this funk!

Mamarazzi? Who me?

2008-10-19T21:45:00.005-04:00

Yes,my friends,(a la McCain), there is a such a phase in a mom's life when they become a part of a pack of women they never thought they would become a member of and that group is called the "mamarazzi". Today, I was at the pumpkin patch with my ds(dear son) and my dh (damn, oh I meant dear husband) and I had my camera glued to my hands and just kept clicking, as if Britney was shaving her head. I was making myself sick. And then it occurred to me that I was morphing into one of those moms who thinks she is Annie Leibovitz or Herb Ritts. It was funny, but I am without a doubt a member of the "mamarazzi" and I've got a million pictures of my little guy to prove it. Why a million pictures? Who knows? Who really cares? Who knows? One day, when my munchkin is going through all of my stuff,he too, will ask, "Why the f*** are there so many pictures of me with pumpkins?"

"Quit Should-ing All Over Yourself!"

2008-10-14T20:56:00.004-04:00

I am a member of a Mother's Group at a local church. (YES, there are churches that exist that accept flawed people, like myself, they are called Catholic churches.) Anywho, last Friday the guest speaker was Dr. Paula Bloom, http://www.paulabloom.com/, and she was fan-fucking-tastic. She talked to us about how, as women/mothers, we have the tendency to should all over ourselves. We should spend: more time with our kids, less time at work, more time in the kitchen, less time in front TV, more time reading to our kids, more time with our husbands, blah, blah, blah... The list is endless. But, instead of should-ing all over ourselves, we should just be true to ourselves and accept that the only people we need to answer to ourselves and God. Our kids and our husbands love us for our flaws. So, I've been thinking about it and have decided that I don't give a shit about what other mother's think is right. My son is a product of me and my husband and it is up to US to provide him with the love and support he needs and if every mother in Atlanta is potty training their kids at 2, good for them. If mom's are growing their kid's hair out like the Jolie-Pitt kids, let them. If all the mommies are trying to look like Sarah Palin, God help them. But as for me and my family we will continue to have our own style. So enough with the should-ing.We don't need any more pressure on ourselves or from our neighbors to be cool, because we are already cool and quite frankly, we've got the looks to back it up,too. HA!

My Top 5 has a NEW member.

2008-10-12T16:56:00.002-04:00

Drum Roll, Please........(Don't laugh, but it's....)

Brody Jenner.
He is replacing my longtime top fiver, Edward Burns. Who is still hot, but a family man now, and not in enough magazines to keep me interested. Maybe if he comes out in a good movie or makes a good movie and quits wasting time with his band , I'll reconsider.

Who else thinks that Kendra is dumb?

2008-10-09T16:51:00.002-04:00

Bless her heart, she is a MORON! But, for some strange reason it's fascinating. Check this out.......

Who else thinks that this election is over-staying its welcome?

2008-10-07T10:26:00.002-04:00

A little something to do when the kids go to bed tonight.....
The Presidential Debate Drinking Game

Football-schmootball, who cares?

2008-09-25T10:49:00.004-04:00

I really don't care about football, but I heard football season started. Boo, who cares. But, I must say, the attached video talking about football cracks me up. Enjoy. (Don't forget to, pause my fabulous playlist to hear this one.)

3 Funny things that happened over a long weekend!

2008-09-23T23:01:00.005-04:00

Greetings!

Over the weekend a few funny things occurred.

#1 There is a hearing impaired woman who works at our local grocery store, who was laughing at me, while I was rolling my eyes at my little monster, and she proceeded to say that the weekend was almost here. I told her that I would be happy if it was bedtime. She said she knew how I felt because her kids drive her crazy, too. But, then she added that when her kids drive her crazy, all she has to do is take her hearing aids out, so she can have peace and quiet. It was so unexpected and flippin' funny. I loved it!

#2 I was in NYC, Friday, and this really awesome lady, from Australia, and I were talking about seafood and she said that she can't wait to go to Red Lobster. I think I actually choked on my spit and giggled a little. She was so sweet and excited about Red Lobster that I didn't have the heart to tell her that its like a guilty pleasure to looooove that place. We all love those Cheddar Bay biscuits. (You snotty moms, know what I am talkin' about. Don't try to deny it)

#3 That same day,this lovely couple from England tapped me on the shoulder and asked what a fountain drink was.

God Bless our friends from across the pond "they're like martians".

If you get a chance to see any movie on HBO ON DEMAND,see this one.

2008-09-14T20:44:00.003-04:00

MovieWeb - Movie Photos, Videos & More

This movie is great. I actually wish I saw it in the theater. The best scenes are when she is writing letters to her unborn baby. And when a woman tells her that "no one tells you how it (having kids) really is". Awesome!

Your Sunday Comic

2008-09-14T20:34:00.000-04:00

The boys are BACK!

2008-09-07T22:37:00.002-04:00

God Bless HBO! I love this show and yes if you have never watched it, go rent it or watch it On Demand. Jeremy Piven is fantastic. And he is a true testimony that plugs do work, and he wears them well. However, plugs are not for everyone... Anyway, remember HBO, Sundays @ 10pm.

Is it me,or are we FRESH out of original ideas?

2008-09-03T22:19:00.002-04:00

My husband has been out of town all week, so I have had the TV all to myself. So, I actually got to watch some of my favorites uninterrupted by dumb questions/requests. Gossip Girl was my first priority for the week,while eating Oreos, of course, it was fantastic. But during commercials, I kept seeing ads for the new 90210. Then during the Today show, they were promoting New Kids on the Block. Oh, and I can't forget, I saw that pinch rolling jeans is coming back. We are all guilty of it, ashamed to admit, yes, but unfortunately I, too, was a pincher. All I can wonder is WHY? 90210? NKOTB? Pinches? I mean, get serious. Are we so disconnected with each other that we can't be bothered to arrange some sort of rally and think of something new and fresh to do with our pop culture? I pledge to all fellow Americans that I will not pinch roll my jeans,so help me God. I might dabble in the 90210 and watch the New Kids on the Today show, but that will be it. I vow to go forth and attempt to get out of the time warp I already went through. No deja vus for me. NO WAY!!!

OMG! I AM OFFICIALLY A COUGAR!

2008-08-25T22:48:00.002-04:00

I was out of town for a wedding this weekend and I wish I could tell you that some little Abercrombie model hit on me, but I must confess he was a little geek. Think geeky, Anthony Michael Hall in Sixteen Candles. It was the last song of the night and me, my sister,and my sister-in-law were standing there, and bless his little geeky heart, he asked, in his drunken state, "Any of you want to dance?",so I felt bad and said okay. As we danced he asked, what we were doing afterward and if I knew how to two-step. Two-step, WTF? I wanted to laugh so hard, but I maintained my cool, until I saw his BRACES. A mouth full of clear (actually yellow) upper and lower braces. I laughed and when the song was over I realized, I had my first Cougar moment.

Best reason to stay up late!!!

2008-08-13T21:44:00.001-04:00

She is so damn funny. Enjoy her and her little nugget @ 11:30 PM on E!. You will love her lingo like, my personal favorite,"SUCK IT HARD"... HA.

When we grow up, do we owe our parents anything?

2008-08-13T20:55:00.003-04:00

I know that lately I have been having issues with my parents, actually just my mom, and the more I over analyze it the worse I seem to get. But, I really am starting to feel like she feels that I owe her something. Not money,not time, not even respect, I can't put my finger on it, but I feel like its something. And quite frankly, it bugs the shit out of me. I was talking it over with a friend of mine and she feels the same way about her mom. An example would be, how she wants to come over all of the time, at her convenience. When she asks and I say no,she gets mad,but when I feel bad for saying no all the time and say yes she says little things to my two year old, like "poor thing needs to be around more people besides mommy". Hello, I can hear you... I feel like she thinks that I owe her open access to my adult life, as if I were still living under her roof. Does this make sense? I am trying so hard to remember all of these little things that drive me nuts as an adult,so I don't follow the same path and it really scares me that I will ultimately end up just like her. To make me feel better, does anyone know what I am talking about? When we move out, start our own lives, pay our own bills, and turn in our old key, do we need to clear out our tabs before we spread our wings?

I have turned to mush!

2008-08-10T15:42:00.003-04:00

Last night,after a fun early night out with the girls, I came home and found myself watching the Olympics. I tuned in at just the right time because it was almost time to see our little sweetie, Michael Phelps, compete. They did a little background on him and interviewed his mom and she was so proud. As I continued to watch the event, I got a little choked up when he won the gold. I am not a mushy person at all. I didn't cry when we got engaged, when we got married, or even when I had our son, but there was something about this Michael Phelps thing that really got to me. I thought it about it for a minute and realized that the reason why I am so mushy is because of my own little monster. My son might drive me crazy, but I know that one day he is going to work hard for something and I can't wait until I have my moment, like Mrs. Phelps did, when all of his hard work pays off for him. Even President Bush and his family looked like crazy family members rooting for our boy Phelps, it was really great.I hope that my mushiness isn't contagious, I probably caught it from one the moms I went out with yesterday. Gee thanks!